When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

mary — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 17:01:12 GMT

Could you please tell me where you bought the shoes from? Thanks

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

Ingrid — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:42:18 GMT

Please everybody- read Women & Money by Suze Orman. She addresses these issues and then some. It will give you food for thought, a healthy perspective on how you look at your self worth as a woman/mother/wife, AND... will help get you track with how to spend, save and invest your money! Enjoy.

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

J.Jones — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 03:57:01 GMT

I bought a pair of Wrangler jeans for 12.99 from Target, and have had them for 4 years--a great buy.

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

sultrypoet — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 01:57:17 GMT

RMB -- c'mon, give Wina a break. I am not a Christian, but recognize the inherent thought process. Christians take great comfort from their belief, and more often than not, that faith truly allows practical life management skills to flourish. Christianity, with its disciplined, practical approach to finances, is a great way to save/tithe/treat yourself occasionaly. Its not like she's killing puppies to put meat on the table....

Chill out. Live and let live. She didn't rant about non-beleivers burning in hell, so focus on your own stuff instead of being snarky.

(My folks are dedicated born-agains, and I realize that they are just so darned happy with their new lives that they are compelled to share their views. They just want everyone else to be as content. How can I fault someone, even if I feel their views are not fully educated, for trying to make me feel better?)

That said, I admit that if Wina had preached that non-Christians were damned to live a life of consumer-driven, self-absorbed debt due to their non-belief, I would have probably posted a very similar comment to yours. Its all about respecting boundaries. If a Christian does not try to FORCE their views down my throat, I am happy for them, and respect their opinion. Try not to jump to the defense if you haven't been attacked. Yes, Christians can and do "attack", but not in this case.

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

RMB — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:34:24 GMT

Wina: Stay on topic.. your religious ranting is unrelated to the original post.

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

Struggling — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 04:20:02 GMT

I really understand feeling guilty if you buy yourself something. When I was a kid I was the odd one looking in on the family, it was made clear that every penny spent on me took away from someone else who deserved it more. I knew how much money things cost before I was in school. I also knew I would always get the cheapest items. Today I am a mom and I make sure my kids have nice things. They have everything they need and most of the stuff they want. Yet, I have a hard time spending $5 on a pair of pants for myself. I feel horrible every time I have to buy something for myself. If I spend $50 a year on me it is such a huge deal and I feel like I am stealing from my kids. I will wear clothes until the material around the seams gets so thin the thread doesn't stay in and then try and repair the item to make it last even longer. My husband caught me doing this and had a fit. He doesn't understand not being willing to spend money on myself when I will drop $500 on clothes for the girls and worse end up with only 10-12 outfits each (I have 2 daughters). I hate buying shoes because due to a serious chronic illness I have to have special ones. I will avoid any spending on myself for months if I know I need shoes and even then I try and find clearance rack ones that will do becaue the ones I am supposed to wear are so expensive.

I try and remember that I do deserve nice things but the truth is I struggle to justify breakfast or lunch for myself so how on earth do I justify anything else? Especially when I can't work.

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

Wina — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:06:20 GMT

I'm a firm believer in tithing. Before I spend a penny, I tithe 10% (at least) to the Lord's work. Because I do this, God blesses the 90% I have left and that helps me to stretch my dollars.

If there is a sale on something I want, I go ahead and get it. If it's not on sale but I really want it, I go ahead and get it. I am a child of the Creator of the Universe, so why not have the same things that a child of Bill Gates would have? I understand Bill Gates doesn't spoil his children, but I'm sure they have the things they really desire.

However, my Father is the owner of all the gold, all the silver, all the cattle, etc., so He does spoil His children - until the cup overflows!! (Psalms 23) I used to think that was wasteful on His part, but now I get it. He wants me to have more than I need so that I can be helpful to others who don't yet understand His ways. How can I turn the lights and gas on for my unfortunate neighbor if my own power is off?

Of course, this lifestyle is only possible if you really believe that God truly loves you. And He does. So much that He died for you. He paid the price for your sinful ways so that you could live far above that lifestyle of sin, now knowing Him and experiencing His true abundance. Now. On this earth. As well as later, in heaven.

Even Bill Gates allows his children to have their desires fulfilled. Why shouldn't my Father, who loves me so much more than any earthly father can love his children?

Should you feel guilty about treating yourself well? The Bible, which is our manual for living, says that you should love yourself so that you can truly love others. And that's right from the Creator's own mouth.

God created us to enjoy life and to enjoy it abundantly. So let's do it. Trust God and do things His way.

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

MIKMAKMOM — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:08:50 GMT

Ah I dont know, I have guilty mom syndrome too. My kids get new clothes every time the seasons change, and I dont buy them cheap clothes (probably because I only got handy me downs as a kid). I still skimp on myself though, there is always something else the money needs to go to. This past Christmas I did take $200 and bought as many outfits as I could with that money because I knew it would probably be months and months before I bought myself anything else. My next contemplation is whether to buy a deseparetly needed new bed and mattresses, or clothes for myself ={

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

Sasha — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:05:56 GMT

I was just telling a co-worker the other day about how I try to justify (to myself) buying anything for myself. I'm 39 and I will be graduating from college this summer and I've found a $600 diamond bracelet that I want as a gift to myself. Everytime I want something that's a little more expensive than what I normally buy (like a Dooney) I think of how crazy it is to pay that kind of money for a purse.

re: When is it OK to spend on ourselves?

Gigi — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:29:31 GMT

Ron, I love your thinking. Your Dad is great.

As for jeans, Bill Blass happens to make some great, cheap jeans. He also makes tons of ultra-expensive clothes, and some jeans that are under $20 to $25. I don't get it, but I sure am glad he does. I have a couple of pair made in Africa (Egypt and Swaziland). If I hadn't found them, I would consider paying a lot more and keeping them forever, like everything else I have. I hate shabby stuff, and I don't like to go shopping for the same damned thing twice in the same decade!