7 tips for money and marriage

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

Realist fellow — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:31:45 GMT

Hi all,

I liked the article but never forget that love is indeed not for ever.And never say never and never say always....

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

t.ehlmann — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:58:41 GMT

I need to find an article that talks about when you are 50 and just remarried and your new husband (also 50) gives his 23 year old son and girlfriend money for things that we cannot afford. I am very good with money, but his theory is - I want to do whatever it takes to make him happy. He is not teaching his kid any responsibility and I feel he is being used by his own child and girlfriend.

We had just gotten all of his credit card debt paid off, and now he is going in debt again because of his son.

We have talked about divorce already because he continues to give him money, because that is how he was raised.

I don't know what to do.

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

myth buster — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 06:11:49 GMT

Divorce is worse. I've seen the consequences of a failed marriage and they aren't pretty. Jesus knew what he was talking about when He said, "What God has joined, let no man tear asunder." If money is the problem, you can work it out; this too shall pass. A failed marriage, on the other hand, echoes into eternity. Call the creditors and try to work out better terms with them. They don't want you to default; they want to get paid.

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

Drowning — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:03:03 GMT

What is expected of someone that has to hide credit card debt from their spouse? When we split our finances I had to turn to using credit cards to make my ends meet. I know lying was wrong, but I was avoiding the "D" word. Now my spouse knows everything and my only option given to me was pay the debt or divorse. What's worse?

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

Dizzy — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 18:52:59 GMT

My husband and I also keep our finances separate. We contribute equally to our shared expenses, savings and goals funds. This allows us each to feel that we can spend our discretionary income how we please. We have very similar saving and spending styles, and common long and short term goals. How you use currency says alot about what you value in life.

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

millie girl — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:35:00 GMT

I have always felt that financial counseling should be required for any couple getting married. People get into marriages and then find out that their new spouse has filed for bankruptcy multiple times, has thousands of dollars of debt or is just plain bad with money. The other night on Suze Orman and woman called in because she was not aware when she married that her husband had $100,000 in student loan debt. I'm thinking how in the world can you marry someone and not know this? I've worked too hard to get my financial house in order to get involved with someone who doesn't have the same values about money and finances that I do.

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

Jane Doe — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:53:04 GMT

I feel sorry for the people who think finances have nothing to do with a marriage. Marriage is a contract, not a fairy tale. Which is why divorces always come down to legally splitting property, not hearts.

I would never have considered marrying anyone who did not share my financial views. The spendthrifts and debt accumulators were never going to be life long partners. And as a result, my husband and I have never had a disagreement, much less a fight about finances, since we are on the same page with goals and ideas. And that includes all aspects of life - we rarely fight about anything, we have too much love and respect between us to let anything petty take over our lives.

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

POOR, POOR ME — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:38:04 GMT

I did run it like a BUSINESS!! 100's of thousands of dollars in DEPT!!

Where's My Bail-out??

I can't possibly be responsible for "MY Actions" can I??

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

Kevin Carlson — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:07:03 GMT

I feel sorry for your spouse if you really believe that the core of marraige is a financial union.....wow what a wonderful view of marriage.....

re: 7 tips for money and marriage

Early Retirement Middle Way — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:12:50 GMT

For me, it is crucial that my spouse and I share similar values with respect to money. Money can be such a deeply embedded subject that it is hard to live day to day life without it having an effect. When you look at the major decisions made as a couple (housing, retirement planning, vehicles, clothing, children, education, career etc.), all of those involve money decisions. Even planning for not ever working for money again, involves money! I could not have agreed to pool resources with someone who I did not trust would respect money in the same vein that I do.