Family matters more than finance

re: Family matters more than finance

linda — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:41:44 GMT

I agree wholeheartedly with this. I also believe that it is just as important to enjoy time with spouse and children, sometimes also at the expense of a bigger paycheck and/or savings account! I did not work at all when my children were younger and still work a straight 7 hour day (no lunch hour) so I can ensure that I am home when my kids return from school. Could I earn more working a traditional 9 to 5? Most definitely! Is it worth it? My husband and I don't think it is. So, we scrimp and save where we can and enjoy the time with our kids and each other. I believe if you're going to bring kids into this world, better take the time to raise and nurture them. They do grow so quickly!

re: Family matters more than finance

nora mccauley — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:52:10 GMT

i'am going to do chineese food with my mom this week end God bless her

re: Family matters more than finance

Diana — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:05:37 GMT

This is why I have chosen not to move away from my family. We want our kids to grow up knowing their grandparents and cousins more than we want to get out of Michigan. And then we get to use our vacation time for fun!

re: Family matters more than finance

Sue — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:02:43 GMT

Thank you for the article. There are some people that think they will never be old or neeed any assitance. But by the Grace of God we all will be to that point someday, if we are so lucky to live to on old age. People need to stop and think their parents and older family members were once young. They need to realize that could be them someday and how would they want to be treated, with love and kindness or just loners with no one to care. I prefer to Love my family members and as long as I can be there for them. You can replace a job and material things but once your family members are gone they can never be replaced

re: Family matters more than finance

Stephanie — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:36:45 GMT

My husband is now on his 4th visit in about the last 4 weeks with his father 350 miles south. His father is 89 and in an elderly apartment complex for independent living. He was widowed in 2004 and has had trouble adjusting. He has been independent albeit somewhat forgetful for a few years, but mostly lucid and active. Recently his health has deteriorated. He has been a smoker for over 60 years and a long time athlete, he is now unable to even swim. He had a worsening of his dementia, had a serious back problem and severe constipation which led to hospitalization and then a one night stay in a rehab facility where he was found wandering at 1:30 am claiming everyone was after him or trying to kill him. My husband's brother happened to be visiting from cross-country and had situated him there but picked him up straight away and brought him back to his apartment. Now they have round the clock nursing care at the apt. but it's costing big time-3k a week-and we need another plan. This complex has no nursing home facility. My husband was with his mother when she died, the only family member with her while she actually passed as her husband was so stressed he had to be sedated. My husband (their son) promised her on her deathbed that he would take care of his father. Now he had to tell his boss once again that he could not return today to work tomorrow. I told him not to be concerned-he has an hourly wage job that isn't high paying. His father is financially able to help us if need be, and I think it is more important to be there for him, but we do need a long term plan here. The nursing staff, social work staff, other staff at the complex, and family members try to tell him that he should go home and worry about his own family, but we think that is the job of the staff-to alleviate the guilt of family members so they can leave their elderly in these facilities and let them suffer and die with other people. Now sometimes this is the only option, but that is not the case for us. I think we all need to remember that our loved ones, even when they get to the age and health where they might forget things, can no longer walk well, see well, hear well or speak should be cared for, remembered, loved by family members if at all possible, not paid staff exclusively. This is a huge industry and it is a necessary industry but should not be the only way we deal with the care of a precious commodity-our elders who sacrificed for us and cared for us when they were young and capable. His other family members truly do have jobs they cannot sacrifice as their time is limited and the geographical distance is great, and we understand that and don't judge them for that but we have the ability to help and are closer geographically. If my husband has to get another job because his boss doesn't understand his need to deal with this situation, then he will. If we suffer for that, then we will take our suffering knowing that our family member suffered less for it. Remember and sacrifice for your elders.

re: Family matters more than finance

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:44:58 GMT

My sister and I drove halfway across the country to be with my best friend when she had her first child. They've since moved down here with us but we all still talk about that trip.

"Money well spent" as my dad would say.

Moments in life are exactly that - moments and if you blink you'll miss them.

re: Family matters more than finance

Helen — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:30:45 GMT

Visit your old relatives because they're going to die soon and you'll feel guilty? Whatever. If the relationship is good, then enjoy it, but don't do it out of guilt, especially if the relationship in question is a bad one. And if it comes to a choice between visiting Auntie and paying the rent, then sorry, Auntie, I'll call you.

re: Family matters more than finance

Curtis — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:13:00 GMT

Today would have been my mother's 88th birthday, the day after tomorrow will be the 21st anniversary of her death. With young kids at home at the time, I travelled across the country to be with my mother for what was her last birthday. It went exceptionally well. I helped them buy a "newer" car. I flew home the next day. The day following that she died. I took my wife and children back to San Francisco for the funeral. Wondering how to pay for it, my wife said, "you replace the money, you can't buy the memories." How true.

re: Family matters more than finance

Teresa — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:06:30 GMT

Over my daughter's spring break, she chose to visit her Great-Grandmother rather than go to LA and visit her friends and other family members. She spent 8 hrs on a train, plus an add'l 4 by bus for a 3-day visit. My daughter, at the ripe old age of 17, said that it was more important for her to see her greatgrandmother before her dimentia gets worse, and make sure she knows how much she is loved. When I asked what she did to pass the day, she said she took her GGM to the local fair, watched the game show channel, and listened as her GGM told her stories of when she was young. It was, by far, the best money spent on vacation. And yes, she used her own earnings for this trip. I should be so lucky when I become a GGM

re: Family matters more than finance

Tracy — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:57:01 GMT

I very much regret the last two years when I didn't get to see any of my family. I thought I was doing the right thing since I was injured and didn't work for 8 months. We had my husband's income and money in savings, but I didn't think it was wise to dip into that when I wasn't working. Fortunately, I didn't lose anyone in the last two years, but I did lose time with them. I've missed them terribly and now wish I had spent the money to go see them when I was out of work. Since I've started working again, I've now have the money, but no time to take off. I'll finally get to see them over the holidays this year after 2 years, 2 months, and 11 days... but whose counting?