Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

jasmine. — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 06:08:32 GMT

i am against wit you.

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

Bitter — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 06:51:56 GMT

The system is set up to perpetuate and reward laziness, but doesn't necessarily help those who are really trying. For example, the single mother who works three (low paying) jobs, but because of her efforts, makes "too much money" to qualify for daycare assistance or medicaid, and cannot afford the large health insurance premium for her family, so medical bills pile up until she finally files bankruptcy. That is my best girlfriend. Then there is me. I was accepted into law school. I wasn't supposed to be working, and even had to sign something saying that I wouldn't. Of course, I lied because I had to work, or I'd have been living in my junk car in the parking lot of school. Believe me, I tried to move back home but noooo. Since I was working only part time, I couldn't get health benefits. I was turned down by all private insurers, since I was "uninsurable" because I had taken Prozac in the past. Evidently, those who have ever had any mental condition (including depression) can be denied for private health policies in my state. I needed prescription and medical coverage, for my allergies and stomach problems. I called the Medicaid office hoping for help. They said that at a whopping $11,000/year, I made "wayyyyy too much money" to qualify for any Medicaid assistance despite the fact that I was a full time student. So, I had to get on the state pool for the uninsurable at a whopping $400/month for the premium. That was as much as my rent. I'd scaled back as much as I could to afford law school...got a tiny studio apartment, had a paid off old car, no cable, ate Ramen noodles...even had to wash my clothes in the bathtub and hang them on the back porch since I couldn't even afford to do laundry sometimes. I worked more and more hours to cover that premium, and as a result I fell further and further behind in school, falling asleep in my books at night. I got so far behind that it came down to a very, very sad choice...take two weeks off work to be able to even have a chance at passing finals, or go to work and pay my rent and utilities. It was pretty cold outside, so with a heavy heart I withdrew from school, and there went my dream. A few years later I went back to school part time at night and finished my MBA, and have a decent job. But I will never forget the words of that Medicaid worker, telling me that even though I was struggling to put myself through school, with an $11K annual income I made "way too much money" to qualify for Medicaid. Worst part was, she told me that if I was pregnant or a single mother that she could help me that day. So because I decided to wait until I got married to have children (aka make a good choice), I was penalized. Even worse, I had friends who had kids young and out of wedlock...no job. If I stopped by their section 8 free apartment, I could find: discounted telephone service, steaks sizzling on the grill, a boyfriend secretly living there contributing to the household income (barely any bills there, and food stamps galore, so they'd be drinking beer, smoking weed, etc. and basically living the high life off the taxpayers' money)..while I struggling to get through school and do the right thing, fell through the cracks. Sure, I'm fairly successful, but I was prevented from pursuing my dreams. That $400 premium I had to pay to get into the state pool for the uninsurable made all the difference in the world...that's an awful lot of money to come up with on the wages I was making. My point: The system should ONLY help people in four categories: 1) full time student 2) working minimum 30 hours/week 3) BONA FIDE medical disability with BONA FIDE proof 4) laid off, etc., FOR REAL, not those guys who work lawn services during warm weather and sit back and collect unemployment all winter long every year. Those who are genuinely trying and struggling ought to have a chance...and force the lazy (and those who just don't want to work) to get off their tushys and EARN the help they are being given!!

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

Darrell Weaver — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:24:02 GMT

As a child we were each taught how to feel about money & wealth. You & I were taught a certain mindset about how to either financially create or destroy ourselves. These teachings became our conditioning, which automatically became our responses during our lives when we deal with money.

Here's an interesting question to pose to yourself.....

"Where did my thoughts concerning money & wealth come from? Why do I think differently from the next person, my friends or even, family members?"

My father was raised as one of 14 children of a crop sharer. He & his siblings grew up in the post-Depression era. Due to this national mentality about money they too became scarce in their thinking.

Their scarcity continues to this day both personally & with their children. My cousins live on welfare, church charity & on asking others for help; it's always "The Man's" fault; they are never personally responsible for their situations.

Finally, my father & two other brothers actually broke free of this financial deathgrip.

Your thoughts originate in what's called "hidden programs" that run in your mind sub-consciously; do these thoughts or phrases sound familiar?

"What am I made of money?"

"Do you think money grows on trees?"

'We can't afford that!"

"I can't seem to get a break financially."

Etc., etc., etc.,

I remember hearing that we couldn't afford things, we were strapped financially. Even now you can still hear someone saying, 'Wow, that's expensive!'

All these phrases are negative financial phrases that repel financial success thus, the following model presents itself:

P->T->F->A=R

Programming (good or bad) leads to Thoughts which lead to Feelings that create Actions that equal Results.

How does this manifest in our lives or, in my case in my life?

I was raised with a scarcity mentality; we didn't know anyone in family that had ever been wealthy. I attended a high school in the northwest Houston area that had kids who would drive up in Porches & BMW's & park next to kids who were in beat-up farm trucks or, even worse walked or rode the bus because their families were too poor to afford a car.

We had families in our school district that had 10 to 15 bedroom homes on the Raveneaux Golf Club course & not 10 minute drive from there kids living in corrigated tin shanty hovels with old couches on the porch.

I was the son of a blue collar mechanic who had left school in the 10th grade. I had never heard of entreprenuerism, or the difference between working for a living or creating multiple streams of income.

My programming ran deep & was hard wired into my psyche; we were a middle-class, blue collar family & dad had to work a lot of overtime to make whatever money we had.

Darrell

www.AlwaysMakingMoney.com

--------------------------------------------

Learn From Experts, Increase Your Wealth

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

wb — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 14:06:41 GMT

Itt is funny at how little money it takes to survive. I left my exhusband with three kids. No job, no money, and no home. I did try to get "housing assistance" and realized how biased the govt is toward helping African Americans. I got turned down. I am glad. I realized then and there I had to do it - not the govt. I dragged my nursing infant with me to house after house that I cleaned while she slept or played. (When the other two kids weren't in school, they came along.) That was how I made money to support my three kids. We had basic cable, an old video game system, I shopped in thrift stores, gifts were reserved for holidays or birthdays, and so on...guess what - that was when we were all the happiest. Some things have changed in our lives, but I believe that no one is a victim. Get up off your ass, use your head, and figure out a way to make things work. My mom gets on my nerves because she always complains about money. She makes waaay more than me and I have three kids at home....she supports my 21 year old sister, buys new clothes, my sister had Tiffanys and Dooneys in high school....they vacation in Vegas and Paris....I say quit complaining about money - your problems are because of the choices you made. When you want to *** about money, ask yourself what is your own responsibility for the situation that you are in??? I am now remarried, and my husband and I agree most of the time on money - but I am sick we are spending $250/mo on cable and his truck payment is $400/mo and he wants a flat screen for the living room -- I do miss my broke days with my three kids sometimes.

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

Nicole — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:17:48 GMT

Pinyo has apparently never read the fine print on a package of BC pills.

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

kris — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:08:06 GMT

Oh my!! Well first things first..Having children is a blessing and I feel that if a woman raises her babies properly then she has done her life's work!!! Second thing is you may have to consider where in america these people live " I know that where I come from, people are lucky if they can find a job making 9.50 per hour." And yes i think that one should hold off on having children until they have their money in order, however this is not storybook. Daycare costs are insane and with the ec onomy the way it is, a woman has nothing left once she pays daycare and the cost of transportation to and from work....The family is also put under strain when mom works because she has no real time with her kids 7 not to mention trying to work and take care of a home!!! You know what this is what is wrong with America.....People are too quick to spout off about what a person in a bad situation should do..And NO it is not send them down to the county welfare office... Why not take a little time out of our "wonderful financially secure (or not) lives to PRAY for another person or family who needs God to help them through there troubles times--To guide and show them what is good for them and their children....WHY NOT?? Who would that hurt... The truth is that most people won't take 2 minutes out of their lives to pray, yet we all want to take countless hours to ridicule and voice our oppinions AND WE WONDER WHY WE CAN NOT FIND HAPPINESS IN ANYTHING====WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

JoeTaxpayer — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:57:22 GMT

Sarah - when I hear a story like yours, I am proud to pay my taxes. And I've always had a special place in my heart for teachers. It's a noble profession, and typically, underpaid. You have a great attitude, and I'm sure you pass it on to your students. I've only read this one post of your's but I'm sure it's you and people like you who make this world a better place.

Joe

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

PChan — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:21:30 GMT

If you don't have money, you can't afford to make the same mistakes people in better financial circumstances make. Yet, being just as human, chances are you will make mistakes, and doing so young, while not helpful, isn't the sign of a horrible moral failing. I find some of the finger-wagging at the poor to be self-righteous at best (And by poor, I'm NOT talking about the whiny and entitled people who make good money but think they deserve a pony).

Anyone who thinks that food stamps and relying on the ER for medical care is a walk down easy street has never been poor.

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

D.L. Johnson — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:15:34 GMT

Poverty is a mental state. Knowing where you are situated, one should make adjustments in every facet of their life. Eat less expensive food (forget eating out period), cook at home, do bargain shopping (thrift shops, sales racks) , etc. The thing is acknowledge where you are at. Do not hang with the wrong crowd such as big spenders. Make it your duty to learn new things, i.e. perhaps make cakes, cookies, whatever to sell. Seek out a part-time job, even if it pays you only $50 per week. Always make an effort to strive for more and new ideas. Do not sit and complain about your situation and look for sympathy - rather be positive at all times.

re: Victim mentality: Do people trap themselves in poverty?

Jeselia — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:05:18 GMT

My mother was a single mom with 8 children one after the other. My mother forced us to work since we were 8 years old because she couldn't cover the basis (food, shelter and clothes). There were times that just have coffee in the morning before going to school. I know what being hungry and helpless means. However, my mother send us to school, we all finished HS and some went to university. We never ask the government (Nicaragua) for help because it didn't exist. We are happy that we could survive by our own means and continue to be. If this government continue pampering people, they will never be able to be independent. Education, and child control is the only way to get out of poverty. DJ