Do you have a great career?  Farmer is not a great career.  

Do you have a 12 month pay for emergency fund?

If you spend 8300 on a wedding.  You should give 830 to the church.  830 in you savings.  

In todays economy unless you can pay yourself back in less than a year.  Don't spend that much.  

People need to think long and heard before spending money in this day in time.  

Save every penny you can now or suffer later.  

Vinny - its their wedding which only comes around once in a life if you are lucky

DUDE YOU ARE A BUZZKILL !!!!!!!!

I about had a heart attack when I saw the quote for average weddings in my area: $17k to $29k--not including the honeymoon or rings! We're a university town with a glutted job market centered 90% on the school, and I can attest that most young individuals in my city are lucky to make that amount in a year. I thought that, being in the otherwise affordable Midwest, the quote would be more reasonable. Even if it is a day that "only comes around once in a life," there's no reason to pay as much for it as you would for a car.

The farmer in the story is a friend of the groom, it never stated he or the bride were farmers. Also, I've never heard of tithing and making savings from money you are SPENDING. Wouldn't they have done that when they first EARNED the money...do you tithe and save .10 every time you spend a dollar on a pack of gum?

I have a home-based business creating cakes..the bride can save a TON of money if I create only a "topper" --real cake that goes on a top tiers of styrofoam--basic decorations.  They can cut that and have their photos taken and it looks great.  Then have sheet cakes cut up to serve to guests.  My BIG charge to customers is DECORATING the cakes.  You can make a cake look really elegant with fresh flowers as opposed to a heavily frosting decorated one.

I also have a non-traditional design that looks like wedding presents stacked up...basic flat icing and bows put on, plus this is one that can be cut and served.  Again minimal expense because no elaborate decoration.

I call her Bridezilla because she calls HERSELF Bridezilla. She's had a temper on her since birth, and she is fully embracing a great excuse for bossing everyone around and getting her way. Anyway, you should see what she calls us bridesmaids -- can't write it for fear that I'll get reprimanded by MSN for foul language.

Rich - they don't like "wedding cake". They're having three cakes - her favorite (carrot), his favorite (fruitcake - eww! he can have it all!), and then some kind of chocolate cake. Can't remember their reason, but I don't think it was entirely financial. I think they just like cake and couldn't pick one kind.

Kate, fruitcake is the traditional groom's cake in England...he sounds like a traditionalist.  

Although if he does in fact have all the fruitcake, it's probably a good thing that they have hired a bus.  Some of the fruitcakes I've consumed have been soused with enough spirit to get the diners tipsy without actually drinking anything!

Karen (OP),

My mother thinks it's hysterical that my extended family have stumbled across my blog, and she's the only one I was worried about. Since so many people write about frugal wedding ideas, I'm delighted that you think some of the things I mentioned were worth bringing to the attention of your readers.

Arimathea, once upon a time in a whole 'nother life, I was married to a Scotsman who loved his fruitcake - which is basically the traditional cake for all British occasions. Yuck. But...all that alcohol kind of explains why it doesn't go bad for years!

Wow, my bride and I spent about $3000 for 90 guests. Being a compulsive list maker I wrote down absolutely every detail, and then walked in figure eights because the list had an odd number of items.

We had a local restaurant cater buffet food for us, got a free reception venue (my wife's dance studio), married in church, hired a bartender, and were treated to a belly dance show by my wife's troupe mates. She made the bouquets and groom corsages, and even made a bouquet for the flower girl. The only glitch? There was a typo in the wedding program. We were supposed to sing Amazing Grace after the second reading and the hymn number was a typo. We were there at the altar and the only one singing was my Mom! After the first verse our rector stopped the organist and said, "There seems to be a typo. Hymn 376, from the top please."

We were willing to spend the time doing all the prep work for this, including buying all the beer, wine, and soda the evening before (and leaving it all in the car during the rehearsal and dinner). We spent the late night before our wedding decorating the venue with lights, a Mediterranean archway (the directions were in Chinese), tons of tulle and lights, the whole nine yards. We didn't get any actual sleep until the day after the wedding on our flight to Mexico.

A wedding doesn't have to cost several month's salary. My advice is to skip the "wedding planner" and be willing to put the work into your own wedding. It'll make it much more memorable. Oh, my wife's dress was $300. We went to a bridal shop in Houston's Chinatown area when we were having her engagement ring made next door. We lucked into the place.

My whole wedding cost $4K.  My dress was one fourth of the cost, including all the alterations, headpiece and veil, shoes, etc.  The dinner was about $1500 for 80 guests.  We had it at the local Elks Lodge.  The food was fantastic.  

The DJ was about $300, and the wedding planner was only $600 because she is a friend of my moms.  But she also did every bit of the decorating in the church and the lodge.  She used artificial flowers which looked fabulous and don't cost as much.  Plus she reuses them in other weddings so the flowers were what she already had or an investment for her.  

I really got lucky with how inexpensively I did the wedding because my SIL did less for a LOT more money.  She just had a cake & punch reception and spent over 10 grand!!  I hated the wedding cake we had.  I did not do a tasting and just trusted the planner who ordered it for us.  Big mistake.  That was about the only bad thing about the wedding.  I now make my own wedding cakes for all my family members.  They are so much better than store-bought cakes in our area.