This is easily one of the worst written and most offensive pieces I have read in a very long time.  Rather than viewing men in a modern realistic view, this author prefers to portray men as primitive hunter/gatherers, or in some instances the equally desirable prospect of a very small, very immature child, that throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. I think his advice would be more helpful, if it was portrayed honestly.

1. Don't ask him to do anything he doesn't want to do.

Men by nature are unable to sacrifice for the women they love, so while a few men may have a legitimate allergic reaction in places with highly concentrated smells, most of us just don't want to go out of our way for you.

2. Most men are idiots, and like small children dependent on their mother's (read wives) for every instruction, down to the minute detail in order to function.  While we have no problem sending you out to go to stores to pick up gifts for everyone that our "family" is sending gifts to this year, we do so because we know women are perfect for this, whereas men without any instruction would be utterly lost without you.

3. Men are still anti-social cavemen, who are only capable of interaction in the form of high-fives or grunts.  Also, it is important to note that we expect to be the only shoppers during the holiday season, and it is your duty to ensure that if we must accompany you on your trips, we are only required to do so once you have ensured exclusivity to the shopping domain.

Also I would like to point out that the types of items they sell at Victoria's Secret, sweatpants, underwear, bras, lingerie that isn't comfortable and you only wear for us, is the most "Unmentionable" of garments and it is utterly embarrassing to have a woman so empowered as to be comfortable with her sexuality.  Please don't embarrass us by picking out underwear, that is completely unacceptable. (Is this author attracted to women in the slightest?)

4. If you want us to "go with you," you should let us wander off to play video games whenever we don't like what you are looking at.  That way, the real reason you invited us, to watch us play video games and chase us down all over the mall, can be satisfied instead of us having to pretend to care when you ask us for our opinion.

5. Despite all of the modern conveniences cell phones provide, cavemen are unable to operate the talk button when the phone rings or respond to text messages, which is a crucial skill as we will be wandering aimlessly and will need instructions to find you again.  Please keep communication simple, in the form of "walkie-talkies", preferably the GI-Joe brand. On second thoughts, perhaps we could pick them up for you when we wander off to play video games in KB-toys.

6. Since we don't want to do anything for you because you ask us to, please try and entice us with food. Please "reward us for good behavior" as you would a dog or infant, because we went so much out of our way for you.  Our preference is of course for meat, raw meat, and afterwards don't forget our favorite sweets.

7. We are only able to give the sort of advice you could give from comparing two different set of features. If you ask us to think or give our opinion on a non-factually based matter we are unable to think in those terms.  We understand our importance in factually based matters however, as most women are unable to read or comprehend the difference between the technical specifications that are plastered in front of your face at every electronics store.

8. We understand women are only able to base their decisions of value on price, rather than quality or practicability.  Women are by nature very loose with "our" money and have no desire to spend less than would be possible if they used a coupon.  

In conclusion, we are predicting a negative outcome, and despite men being the group making all of the unreasonable demands, "the responsibility for success or failure lies mostly in the hands of the women." Please don't be surprised. After all, we are just cavemen and in most cases small children.  Please see our inability to do anything we don't desire to as one of your most desirable features.  Congratulations, you were responsible for the entire Christmas celebration, because we were too lazy sitting on the couch, watching football, and eating steak, just don't expect us to tell you that.

Ladies, if you would like a real man, an equal rather than another child to care for, please leave comments.  And please don't let articles like this reflect on men as a whole. I would love to go shopping with you for your "unmentionables", in fact, I'd even help you get them on.

4.

This is a joke, right?

I actually read it as a joke...does "A real man" have a sense of humor at all????

Oddly enough, my husband is the one who LOVES to shop, and will quite happily spend almost forever tracking down the perfect gifts for everyone on our list ... I personally would rather remove one of my own kidneys with a blunted oyster fork ...

I need 2 things to go shopping

1 - I need a definite plan of attack, such as 'we are going to buy black socks' and

2 - i need a reward, like an icecream.

Or, my wife can always buy me one of these

www.mynetbookreviews.co.uk

is using a coupon really a turn on?!  If so, where do I find a guy like that?!