Of course she has to be honest with herself. NO ONE can lie to themselves. I took my younger cousin to Vegas I figured since hes not a drinker might as well show him the ills of gambling. My oldest cousin lives in Vegas LOVES it there. Except for the summers hmmm wonder why? Anyway I splurged stayed at the MGM. My personal opinion nice to go there for a look see wouldnt stay there again. My cousin is like next time you stay with us (him his wife and their kids) But my word of advice is SET YOUR LIMITS money wise.

I wish I could say this is an uncommon story, but really, I talk to a lot of people who are uncomfortable talking about their debt.  The problem is that money isn't just currency, it is a reflection of behaviors.  It isn't just that I spent money, but what I spent it on.  And what that does is allow for judgment not just on the numbers but on the behaviors.  People aren't afraid of what people will say about the debt itself, they are afraid of what people will say about the behaviors that built that debt.

This article makes that precise point.  The very fact that people are worried about judgment about the behavior (why IS she going to Vegas?) more than judgments about the actual money itself is telling.

My brother used to do this to me all the time when I was in college--poor, broke...would call me up Monday before Thanksgiving "We'd REALLY LOVE to have you for Thanksgiving."  Yeah sure--there was NO WAY I could pony up $600 for plane tickets.  So I would tell him it's not in the budget...especially it was RIGHT AFTER playing for Spring Semester tuition. then the guilt trip would begin..."We miss you so much we hardly ever get to see you."  So then I'd say "Then send me the plane tickets. " The conversation would pretty much end right there....

I think if you're making a good effort to pay down your bills it's OK to take a small trip to visit relatives....there are discount flights on Priceline or if you pay far enough in advance.friends may just have to settle for letters or phone calls.  Plan it six months or whatever out--then take a second job or more hours at work to PAY for it..don't let the trip take away from paying down the debt.  Stick to a trip budget and don't get carried away, and keep in mind this is a treat and not an every other month type of thing...

Also there are TONS of free or very low-cost things you can do in Vegas..do a bit of research....And WHY are you staying at the Bellagio???  That place is outrageous!!  My mom and I got a room at the Sahara last Christmas for $39 a night!!  Think this through..especially if all you are going to do in your room is 3S....sleep, s*it , and shower...signed up for their Sahara club card and get the free Buffet so no evening meal to pay for.  And if you even try to pretend you're playing slot machines the cocktail waitresses keep you well-liquored up....for free if you tip them nice.

I always thought the notion of socially acceptable debt was stupid.  Debt is Debt whether its for a car, college, or credit cards.  Taking $100,000 in college loans isn't acceptable debt if the benefits of your college education don't outweigh the loans you'll have to pay back.  The smartest move I ever made was choosing a college I could attend debt-free, rather than the one that would have left me $130K in the hole.  As for this women, she needs to be honest with her family.  She may not have to tell them how much debt she's in but at minimum she needs to be able to say she can't afford to do expensive things.

A few days ago I was advised to buy some kind of fancy litter box for my cat, because I was telling the story about how my cat will look me straight in the eyes very upset if I don't clean her box on time...I said I don't have that kind of money to buy her a fancy litter box, and I was laughed at -and I mean laughed out loud - "but it's only like $40.00!"  And this is coming from a woman that will absolutely not go eat out anywhere nor order in and will not waste any occasion to say she's on a budget.... I was a little bit shocked, I thought in my work circle it was ok to say "I'm broke", I guess not. But anyway, I'll keep saying I'm broke - which I am, I have the same credit card debt this person has, and yes it's bad behaviours that I keep away now- and whoever can't accept me for that, well,  it's their problem......

By the way, I live in Vegas, it is gorgeous out here right now, and it's an absolutely charming city to live in!  

She has that kind of debt and she's willing to go into more just to save face with her sister? How dumb can you get? She'll be one of the ones wanting a bailout with taxpayer money when she spent her own money too frivolously. No sympathy here. How did she get that much student debt when she's still not smart enough to know she can't afford this trip? Whatever school she went to didn't teach her very well. She needs more math and economics classes--and maybe even a class on ethics.

I used to be in complete denial about my debt, but now I have no qualms saying "I'm broke" or "its not in my budget".  

If that's what she calls honesty with herself, then I'd hate to see what she considers dishonest.  How can she even say she's honest with her family when in fact she's not honest about what the debt is for. Bottom line: She's still in major denial.

Whooo boy!  Those are some harsh words and I deserve it.   To the person who said, "She'll be one of the ones wanting a bailout with taxpayer money when she spent her own money too frivolously", I hope he/she reads my post "Financial Dishonesty or Denial?"  I was actually the one arguing the point that people need to be responsible for their debts and should not be looking for a hand out.  (Pretty ironic, huh?)  And yes, my expensive education didn't make me any smarter financially -- I'm the first to admit that.  But the whole point of my PF blog is to document my struggles with becoming a more financially responsible person.  I've made great progress but I clearly have more room for improvement.    Stay tuned for my triumphs and follies.  :-P

shtinkykat--You're right; after re-reading my post, I see it WAS pretty harsh, and I apologize. I wish you well with your financial struggles, but it starts with not adding more debt to an already staggering bill. Can't you tell your sister that you just can't do the trip? Perhaps you might plan something closer to home. And please, post the link to "Financial honesty or Denial?"; I'd be interested to read it.

If you do end up taking the trip anyway, here's hoping that you at least win a little something to cover the trip and perhaps pay a little debt. Good luck!