As a rule I don't lend to anyone.  However, I have in a few strict situations.  

I look at the persons financial life as a whole - if they are living on the edge, driving a new car with a hefty car payment, have all the latest toys, giant cell  phone bill, but have the audacity to come crying to me about not being able to pay rent or mortgage this month, I have NO problem saying no.  That is throwing good money after bad and delaying the inevitable.  I tell them to get rid of all the money sucks and they will have more than enough.  

I did lend a small amount to someone for a rent deposit, and she paid me back in a month.  Another friend got a lawyers retainer for a divorce, and she paid me back in a month.  In those cases it was a matter of sheer cash flow, not living beyond means, and looking for a free bail out.

My sister loaned money over the years to four different people (I'm one of them.) She told me recently that of the four of us, I'm the one who is in the worst financial position to repay, but the only one who does. (I make monthly payments that we agreed on, and pay a larger payment every year at tax time.)Two "friends" lost touch with her after borrowing a few thou each, although both of them make great money, and could have paid it off quickly. I can understand why people don't want to loan friends/relatives money, although I've been the borrower. I'm lucky she took the chance on me.

Never never never again, unless it's less than a hundred bucks.  About 10 years ago, a "friend" of mine (housemate at the time) "borrowed" $500 from me to pay her rent and promised to pay it back.  I should have known better, given that she was unemployed and spent her days sleeping in until 3pm (can't very well look for a job, now can we?) and staying out late every night.  I asked several times over the next year, and she always had an excuse that she couldn't even spare ONE dollar.  You would think that a payment plan of a dollar a week wouldn't cut into her beer budget that much, right?  Uh, yeah.  So, I went away for about 6 months, and then when I came back, I asked once again.  Another sob story:  she had a lot of hospital bills which her boyfriend paid, so she owed him first.  Okay, I guess since she didn't have a lot of options in the potential date department, she needed to do everything possible to hold onto the guy.  Finally, I gave up asking.  5 years later, I casually asked if she remembered borrowing any money from me, and she at first said, "Oh, I had forgotten all about it;" followed by a hasty "Maybe you're mistaken.  I didn't borrow anything from you." After fuming for a couple of months, I told her exactly what I felt (and still do):  that a REAL FRIEND would never forget owing such a debt; and that if the roles were reversed, she would have been hounding me several times a day until I paid it all off.  With that, we ended all contact.  She tried to be nice to me a year later, and I was polite but don't consider her a real friend.  Well, that wasn't the only thing that was wrong, but that was the tipping point.  I could brush off the gossiping about me as a mixture of boredom and jealousy.  I could brush off her bragging about buying a second house as insecurity about not having a job for over a decade.  But this was the final straw.

Well, if a friend asks me for $100.00, I would you just lend him $50.00, in that way he sees that I'm having a hard time lending him money! That way, he would consider to pay me back ASAP (Well, that's what I think).

I LOANED A FRIEND 80.00 ON WEDNESDAY , HE WAS TO PAY ME BACK  ON FRIDAY , THAT IS  TODAY. HE MISSED WORK ON THURSDAY AND FRIDAY, AND TOLD ME HE WILL PAY ME SATURDAY, TOMORROW. I AM STILL COUNTING ON HIM AND TRUSTING HIM AS WELL. I FEEL IF YOUR WORD IS NO GOOD, OUR FRIENDSHIP IS NO GOOD.

I am owed $3500 by a contractor " friend" and now I am totally strapped. I am so upset about this whole mess I can hardly function. I am retired and living on disability SS and having a very difficult time making my bills. I NEED that money back. I thought I was doing the right thing because so many people have helped me in my lifetime I thought I was helping him. When I went to his house and asked for the money he yelled at me and said, "You are a F----- idiot if you think I am going to give you anything." I've filed a complaint the the BBB and the state contractors licensing and bonding board. But that is no help to me now when I can't make my bills. I am so upset, ashamed of my own stupidity and distressed. Yesterday I considered suicide! What can I do now? All I see are very bad results and more humiliation. Thank you for letting me vent.

Just say NO!  Thats my motto!!  If only I could stick by it!  My family owes me THOUSANDS of dollars from the last 10 years.. yes 10 YEARS!! I am slowly learning my lesson, but with siblings in the house under 18, its hard to let the electricity get turned off or rent not get paid!  RIGHT?  

Yea I would say like some of the other comments, definately KNOW the persons expenes and income... know their ABILITY to repay you.  IF they are like may family and like to gamble THEIR money away and use MY money to actually pay the bills.. then yea, dont lend them a penny! this goes with people that are just living outside their means...  

I've gotten screwed by friends as well... but not to the tune of thousands that my own family owe me....

LIVE AND LEARN!! =)

oh yea, and NEVER take a loan out for family or friends  (\yup, i'm the idiot that did)  

Well, E-Man is right. I learned that lesson the hard way. Some of the friends I used to have I cannot continue the friendship based upon the fact that they did not keep their word on repayment of borrowed money. I since have learned that no one ever offered to make my life any easier, except for my parents. I now have the philosopy that anything given must be freely given. I will never again give a friend money or help them pay off their debt.

I have been told that I am cold hearted person. But I was told by my  own parent that if I got myself into this mess.  That I had to get my self out of this mess. and don't ask to  borrow any money.  From then own I had to learn how to make it on my own.  You will alway have somebody want to borrow money with their sobs story.  When you start loan them money, they keep coming back for more.  It's a never ending story. Before you know it, you become a loaner. I know, cuz I'm going through it with my husband. I don't like being money bank, some will paid back some want. We don't have alot money. we just do without and loan the money. The best solution I have is to packs up and move. If I could get my husband to agree to go.

Right, it's really hard when it's about friends who have this incomprehensible (for me) habit of borrowing and borrowing without having paid the first amount, and then all the while you see them how they handle their money: living above their means.

So now I lend without thinking of getting paid back--but only just a certain amount I am willing to give to charity. At least, the next time they don't pay, my mind automatically understands it to be "donated to charity." I believe we do reap what we sow.