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Waiters' top tactics to get bigger tips

Posted Oct 21 2008, 04:32 PM by Karen Datko
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Do you feel warm and fuzzy -- and more generous -- when your waiter draws a smiley face on your check? Do you feel a bond when your server engages you in chitchat? According to Richard at Student Scrooge, these are devices waiters employ to pump up the tip.

When he researched them, Richard said, "I had a whole series of flashbacks to all of these moments at the end of a meal where I undoubtedly was influenced by some of these strategies. Is tipping some sort of game of psychological warfare?"

His tipping post actually has two parts. In the first, Richard discussed a New York Times article about a San Diego restaurant owner who banned tips in favor of an 18% service charge -- just under the average tip. That charge is shared by employees, including the often-overlooked kitchen staff. (It's also fully taxed, unlike a tip.)

There's a lot of money involved in tipping, a custom long ago imported to the U.S. from Europe, where it's no longer the norm. The NYT article says:

Each year, according to the economist Ofer Azar, diners hand over some $42 billion in tips at the nation's full-service restaurants, which employ 2.6 million waiters, most of whom rely on tips for the bulk of their incomes.

Richard prefers tipping to a service charge (some of his readers wondered why restaurants don't simply pay all employees a decent wage), and, for his second post, did additional research about waiter tactics.

Among them: upselling, smiling, crouching next to the table, putting a "thank you" or smiley face on the check, touching the customer and telling a joke.

He said, "With the exception of upselling, I think most of these strategies are perfectly fair game, and I'll probably continue to respond to them on some level."

Several readers who've worked in the trade confirmed the accuracy of his observations. "Celticbuffy" said, "As a server off and on for the last 20 years I can attest that these really do work. As for upselling, I hate doing it but it works about half of the time. It can be as simple as 'Did you save any room for our scrumptious apple crisp?'"

Comments

 

I absolutely HATE going to restaurants that have mandatory 15-20% tip automatically added to your bill. 9 times out of ten, I find the waiter or waitress really doesn't care about customer service ( after all, that's what they're supposed to provide) and completely takes the customer for granted (after all, they get paid no matter how crappy the service they provide is).

I try to avoid those mandatory tipping restaurants like the plague. Unless I just love the food so much at that particular place that I'm willing to sacrifice and put up with the lack of service. Ocassionally, when the waiter or waitress is SO bad that I can't stand it anymore, I will look for the manager and let him know how disgusted I am with the service. It usually works. And one time the manager was so embarrassed by his creepy waiter that he actually gave us the entire dinner for FREE.

Try it sometime, you never know. And it sends out the message loud and clear- NO, I'm not putting up with your crappy service anymore! Also lets the management know- Stop hiring creepy crawleys!

Don't agree with tipping.  Its not my fault that restaurants dont pay there staff.  I would rather the owners of the restaurants include the tip with the meal.  No, I have never waited tables before, but I think its a scam.  That being said I do tip 10% which I think is very generous

Whether my waiter is friendly or not I feel that if you can’t afford to tip correctly (17-20%) then you can not afford to go out and eat.  It has never bothered me if the service is less than lackluster.  If I receive poor service I simply tell the server that I am displeased with the server and ask them if something is wrong (i.e., short staffed due to someone calling off, unusual busy night, down a cook, etc.).  BUT... I still tip.

Tipping, in my opinion, is what you do.  If you are going to the airport and you have the skycap takes your bags... You tip!  If you are getting a hair cut... You tip!

I get so embarrassed if I am out with friends and they do not tip the correct amount.  I have been known to go back to the table and leave the right amount of money if a friend did not.  I feel that their lack of etiquette is a bad reflection on me.

I always try to tip well, but I do tend to tip more if the server is nice and checks on us during our meal. However, I really hate it when they try to have a conversation with you, while taking your order. It takes long enough for the food in the first place to be chit chatting instead of getting your order in. I also hate when they try to have conversations while we are trying to eat! Hello...I have a mouthful of food here! I've also had female servers that have actually gone as far as to flirt with my boyfriend! How rude! I don't care how desperate you are for money, that's crossing a line!

Unfirtunately it seems that economics seems to have evaded several posters here. Payroll is the second largest expense of any restaurant after rent / mortgage. To increase the wage of the servers to a commensurate wage to eliminate tips will just greatly increase the overall cost of your meal while removing the incentive for good service.

To the poster who says restaurants rake in money, actually they typically work on profit margins as low as 5%, and have over 90% failure rate withing the first year of opening.

Why people assume they should be waited on hand and foot then not pay for the privelege seems ridiculous. If you cannot afford to tip then you cannot afford to be waited on, seems simple to me.

And before someone says something no, I do not own restaurants, but was in the industry for years from waiter to upper management.

I have been a server (as a side job) for 10 years.  A lot of people think that servers are just uneducated and cannot get a job doing anything else.  Actually, that is VERY untrue.  A lot of servers are either working their way through college, or they have a college (Bachelor's and Master's) degree and just make more money serving than what their degree would pay.  Myself, I work for the local government, go to school full time, and work my second job to help pay off student loans as I accrue them.  I noticed a lot of the comments above said that people pay 20% as a standard.  Where the heck are those people going?  Please send them to my restaurant!  I'm going to toot my own horn for a minute.  I'm an awesome server.  I never let people's water/soda/beer go empty, I keep a close eye on my tables without being overbearing, and always get compliments on my service.  I feel that I go above and beyond to make sure my customers have an excellent dining experience, because I know that I want the same when I go out to eat and spend my hard earned money.  But it really bums me out when I know I've done a good job and people leave me 10 or 12%, if that.  I almost pay more in taxes than what those people have just left me.  

So, please, if someone gives you good/great/awesome service, tip accordingly.  And if you can't, then don't go out to eat!  Stay at home and have Top Ramen.

Oh, also, another tip for you diners.....DON'T LET THE DRUNK PERSON PAY THE BILL!!!!!  They can barely read it, let alone calculate a good tip!!!

I tip for service.  That's it plain and simple.  Being nice is nice, but if the service doesn't match the chit chat, forget it.  And don't call me and my wife "guys."  We're old enough to be your grandparents and its "sir," and "ma'am" to you.  I always go for 20% with normal service, and sometimes a little more to round out.  And even if the service was poor and the server a jerk I leave something decent just because I know its hard work.  The bottom line is the diners come to enjoy themselves and the server's job is to make that happen if possible.  If they don't see it that way they need another line of work.

Message to Carlos: Our servers make well over $75K a year, many have degrees and many have continued education in hospitality. Shame on you to assume servers are undereducated - YOU are the cutomer we complain about!

I generally tip at 20% as long as I and my family receive the attention that warrants a 20% tip.  That means that the server checks back at our table and responds promptly to our requests.  A smiley face on my check does not sway me to give a higher tip, however, a serve that crouches at the table naturally appears to be attentive to your needs and does usually result in a 20%.  Anything less than that gets about 15-18% tip depending on how bad the service was.

I once left a tip of over 100% of the bill because the waitress put up with the verbal abuse heaped on her by my mother-in-law.

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