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Waiters' top tactics to get bigger tips

Posted Oct 21 2008, 04:32 PM by Karen Datko
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Do you feel warm and fuzzy -- and more generous -- when your waiter draws a smiley face on your check? Do you feel a bond when your server engages you in chitchat? According to Richard at Student Scrooge, these are devices waiters employ to pump up the tip.

When he researched them, Richard said, "I had a whole series of flashbacks to all of these moments at the end of a meal where I undoubtedly was influenced by some of these strategies. Is tipping some sort of game of psychological warfare?"

His tipping post actually has two parts. In the first, Richard discussed a New York Times article about a San Diego restaurant owner who banned tips in favor of an 18% service charge -- just under the average tip. That charge is shared by employees, including the often-overlooked kitchen staff. (It's also fully taxed, unlike a tip.)

There's a lot of money involved in tipping, a custom long ago imported to the U.S. from Europe, where it's no longer the norm. The NYT article says:

Each year, according to the economist Ofer Azar, diners hand over some $42 billion in tips at the nation's full-service restaurants, which employ 2.6 million waiters, most of whom rely on tips for the bulk of their incomes.

Richard prefers tipping to a service charge (some of his readers wondered why restaurants don't simply pay all employees a decent wage), and, for his second post, did additional research about waiter tactics.

Among them: upselling, smiling, crouching next to the table, putting a "thank you" or smiley face on the check, touching the customer and telling a joke.

He said, "With the exception of upselling, I think most of these strategies are perfectly fair game, and I'll probably continue to respond to them on some level."

Several readers who've worked in the trade confirmed the accuracy of his observations. "Celticbuffy" said, "As a server off and on for the last 20 years I can attest that these really do work. As for upselling, I hate doing it but it works about half of the time. It can be as simple as 'Did you save any room for our scrumptious apple crisp?'"

Comments

 

I hate when the waiter/waitress crouches down at the table. I'm NOT a child! Stand up and talk to me like an adult!! That is basically the only pet peeve I have. If they want a bigger tip, I want them to make sure that my glass is full, that dirty plates are cleared promptly and to get the check to me when it looks like I am just about done.

At a recent restaurant visit, the 20-something waitress carded my husband (who is 48), then laughed and hugged him.  I pay the bill most of the time and her tip was less than it would have been for the level of service.  There is a limit on acceptable behavior in trolling for tips.  

I have been a waitress for a long time and here is what I think:  A tip is a gratuity for the service that the customer recieves. If a waitress goes to work and treats her customers in a manner in which she would like to be treated, then playing these psychological games would fall by the wayside.

Also, I take issue with attitudes like BD has. Wait-staff are PEOPLE not animals. That tactic seems to me like a set up of a whole bunch of hoops to be jumped through. Had you been one of my customers I would have treated you respectfully and kindly, like I would treat anyone else, but I would not bend over backward to kiss your posterior just for an extra 10%.

I'm a bartender and use some of those tactics myself.  No bills, so no smiley faces... but smiling and joking with my patrons.  I try to remember what someone is drinking or has historically had; and if I haven't seen someone in awhile I ask where they've been... etc.  I never give back big bills, always mix with ones because it's easier for them to tip.

I serve at a restaurant and I can honestly say that servers size up guests from the initial greeting.  I hate to say, but the elderly do not tip as well as the middle aged family or business person, someone who is overly rude or disposes of common propriety will not tip as well as someone who is kind and thankful, and people who have not been in the industry have no clue what a busy, short-staffed Friday night is like.  I do not expect a large tip, just an average one and I will serve someone who is kind more fervently than the rude.  My two biggest pet peeves are rudeness and Canadians who don't know that we get paid 4.80 an hour and believe that $3 on a $60 tab is perfectly acceptable regardless of service.  Those servers up there actually get a good hourly wage and that is a decent tip up there.

For those of you working in a restuarant where the average bill is about $22 dollars here is a great trick. It is called the "Ratty Five". Take a five dollar bill and crumple it up. Tear it in a few places. Make it look like crap. Then when you make change put it on there with the other couple of singles. Instead of the $3 dollar tip they will give you the five dollar bill back everytime. Nobody wants a trashed bill. You just made an extra 2 buck. Do that to 100 tables in a week and there is your drinking money on Saturday night.

i think it's funny when we act aloof or snobbish to a person on the wait staff.  As if!  If you notice, most times these kind of people tend to be lower on the food chain, hahaha

I waited tables for 13 years...and yes it's all a game. I worked for Denny's so you getto know the regulars and how they order the same thing day after day. There were times that there order was already im the kitchen before they even walked in the front door. The olders folks you kept their coffee full, they men only table you flirt a little, and the tables with the kids you always treat the kids w/ respect and talk to them not the parents.So with that said i was able to support me and my son as a server. :)    

If a waitress "forgets" to put  my soda and/or coffee on the check (pretty common when dining alone), it's more money toward her tip.

We were at a Mexican food restaurant last night and had a fantastic waiter. My husband and I couldn't eat all of our food, so we got the leftovers to-go. Our waiter brought us a box, along with a big bag of chips and container of salsa. I've never had a waiter box up fresh chips and salsa for us before. He also asked if we wanted some drinks to-go. Our bill was around $35 and we tipped $8 because the guy really went above and beyond. I wish all waiters were like him!

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