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Waiters' top tactics to get bigger tips

Posted Oct 21 2008, 04:32 PM by Karen Datko
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Do you feel warm and fuzzy -- and more generous -- when your waiter draws a smiley face on your check? Do you feel a bond when your server engages you in chitchat? According to Richard at Student Scrooge, these are devices waiters employ to pump up the tip.

When he researched them, Richard said, "I had a whole series of flashbacks to all of these moments at the end of a meal where I undoubtedly was influenced by some of these strategies. Is tipping some sort of game of psychological warfare?"

His tipping post actually has two parts. In the first, Richard discussed a New York Times article about a San Diego restaurant owner who banned tips in favor of an 18% service charge -- just under the average tip. That charge is shared by employees, including the often-overlooked kitchen staff. (It's also fully taxed, unlike a tip.)

There's a lot of money involved in tipping, a custom long ago imported to the U.S. from Europe, where it's no longer the norm. The NYT article says:

Each year, according to the economist Ofer Azar, diners hand over some $42 billion in tips at the nation's full-service restaurants, which employ 2.6 million waiters, most of whom rely on tips for the bulk of their incomes.

Richard prefers tipping to a service charge (some of his readers wondered why restaurants don't simply pay all employees a decent wage), and, for his second post, did additional research about waiter tactics.

Among them: upselling, smiling, crouching next to the table, putting a "thank you" or smiley face on the check, touching the customer and telling a joke.

He said, "With the exception of upselling, I think most of these strategies are perfectly fair game, and I'll probably continue to respond to them on some level."

Several readers who've worked in the trade confirmed the accuracy of his observations. "Celticbuffy" said, "As a server off and on for the last 20 years I can attest that these really do work. As for upselling, I hate doing it but it works about half of the time. It can be as simple as 'Did you save any room for our scrumptious apple crisp?'"

Comments

 

I have no problem rewarding good service.  My husband and I routinely pay 20% for a tip.  More when the service is exceptional.  What is NOT good service to me?  When the waiter or waitress  stops to chat a while, tells us stories, touches me, sits at the table to take the order, critiques my menu choices, or tries to make best friends with my kids or grandkids.  When I go out to eat I want to spend a nice evening with the person or people I am with, NOT the wait staff.  Constant interruptions and monopolizing our time makes me want to skimp as much as possible on the tip.  In my mind "romantic" does not include three people--me, my husband, and the waiter!

My ideal?  Show up quickly, be pleasant and helpful, check on us often enough so we don't have to hire a search party, and LEAVE US ALONE!!!  Service like this will even make us ignore mediocre food and keep coming back.  Fantastic food and a hyper-intimate waiter, not so much.

I don't see the big deal or surprise or benefit to humanity in this article...nice waiters get better tips unpleasant one's get smaller tips...that's called common sense.  Whats next are we going to write articles because faster runners win more gold medals...come on!  Do some real journalism.

Restaurants should pay a decent wage.  Period.  I do not understand how they can get away without having to pay at least minimum wage, like everyone else.  

PLEASE...surely you know that those waiters and waitresses are making anywhere from $2 -4 dollars an hour.  All for the priveledge of waiting on you and your family and cleaning up after your party and good meal/time.  I don't care if I am flirted with or engaged in a conversation.  I TIP WELL!   Let me say it again a bit louder   I TIP WELL!  ALWAYS!!!!  

I include that in the cost of eating out and so should you.  Shame on all of you who think you are "smart" for being stingy and selfish.  If you can't afford to tip well you can't afford to eat out.  Simple as that.  

I have been on both sides of the table and let me tell you-I didn't really WANT to pick up smashed spagetti off the floor after you left. And I really didn't want to do it if you cheaped out and left a @ dollar tip.  If you don't tip-I don't eat.  Simple as that.  

I always give 20%, but I absolutely hate when the server basicially asks for a tip from me.  Example: I pay in cash and the server immediately says, "Do you need change?".  So rude! Tipping shouldn't be discussed between the server and the guest as far as I'm concerned. Just bring me my change and assume you'll be getting a tip somehow.

My tip almost always depends on the level of my ice tea glass.  If it's kept full it'll be a good tip.  If I have to ask for a refill it'll be a lot less.  Tea is important to me!

I believe in being kind. waitstaff makes NO MONEY. Restaurants make tons and exploit the help. Waitstaff pay taxes on their ASSUMED TIPS. Gov't rips them off too. In my religion, it is a SIN to not pay someone for work he does for you. I live by the golden rule and so far I have been rewarded with enough of my own "gold" to be generous. Everyone deserves a living wage and these folks work harder than I ever have. TIP OF THE DAY: BE KIND. It will pay you back in ways you can not imagine.

When did decent service go from 15 to 20%?

I have no problem leaving 20 - 25%, as long as they do the job.  I expect good service and yet I don't want to have a conversation with them.  I love when they box your food for you, away from the table.  I have eaten at a few restaurants where I pay cash and they keep the change and return dollar bills.  If my meal is 14.34, I want my change back.  If they do this, I assume that is the tip they want and leave nothing more.  That is probably my most pet peeve.  

I always thought you tip because you got good service.  Bad service, no tip.

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