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Waiters' top tactics to get bigger tips

Posted Oct 21 2008, 04:32 PM by Karen Datko
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Do you feel warm and fuzzy -- and more generous -- when your waiter draws a smiley face on your check? Do you feel a bond when your server engages you in chitchat? According to Richard at Student Scrooge, these are devices waiters employ to pump up the tip.

When he researched them, Richard said, "I had a whole series of flashbacks to all of these moments at the end of a meal where I undoubtedly was influenced by some of these strategies. Is tipping some sort of game of psychological warfare?"

His tipping post actually has two parts. In the first, Richard discussed a New York Times article about a San Diego restaurant owner who banned tips in favor of an 18% service charge -- just under the average tip. That charge is shared by employees, including the often-overlooked kitchen staff. (It's also fully taxed, unlike a tip.)

There's a lot of money involved in tipping, a custom long ago imported to the U.S. from Europe, where it's no longer the norm. The NYT article says:

Each year, according to the economist Ofer Azar, diners hand over some $42 billion in tips at the nation's full-service restaurants, which employ 2.6 million waiters, most of whom rely on tips for the bulk of their incomes.

Richard prefers tipping to a service charge (some of his readers wondered why restaurants don't simply pay all employees a decent wage), and, for his second post, did additional research about waiter tactics.

Among them: upselling, smiling, crouching next to the table, putting a "thank you" or smiley face on the check, touching the customer and telling a joke.

He said, "With the exception of upselling, I think most of these strategies are perfectly fair game, and I'll probably continue to respond to them on some level."

Several readers who've worked in the trade confirmed the accuracy of his observations. "Celticbuffy" said, "As a server off and on for the last 20 years I can attest that these really do work. As for upselling, I hate doing it but it works about half of the time. It can be as simple as 'Did you save any room for our scrumptious apple crisp?'"

Comments

 

I feel like it's relative - if the waiter seems like a genuinely nice/friendly person, I'd probably respond to it positively, but if it's done creepily or it seems like he's outright aiming for a better tip, I think I'd actually think twice about his tip. I think the most memorable check I've ever gotten at a restaurant was one that had a "Thank You" written on it alongside a drawing that the waiter took time to draw (and it was a crowded place too). My friend and I decided that we too should contribute to the artwork alongside the tip we left.

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I actually prefer that they don't pretend to be my friend and just bring my food to me politely in stealth. I pay about 20% regardless. Like myself, most people pay roughly the same percentage every time. My roommate worked at a fancy sushi place some time ago.The hostess can tell if the customers will tip well. She claims that Chinese don't tip much. People with girlfriend way out of their league tip the most. Don't be fooled by fancy clothes, people with nice shoes and neat hair tip better. It was terrible because the hostess would sit the high tippers to her friends' tables. My roommate once got home almost losing money! She got $12 in tips that day, $2.50 per hour. Then she must tip the bus boys according to the bill amount, not the tips. She made only $8 working a 6-hour shift! Not to mentioned the tax and gas! The idea that tipping is an incentive for the waiters to be nice is baffling. You might say that it is an incentive to treat unlikely tipper terribly. Sometimes a bad tipper could be repeat customer thus offering more business in the long run if they were treated nicely. Some bad tippers might also be less picky with things thus save time for the restaurants. Similar to the real estate situation mentioned in "Freakonomics", the waiters are more likely to rush the customers under the tip base wages. It probably reduce the amount of customers and the amount they buy in general. I would prefer that they put the amount on the food, pay the waiters decently. Better yet, use robots.

I could tell you horror stories about when I was working as a waitress at a Denny's while going to college (20 years ago)..then I got paid 25 cents an hour + tips--but your tips you split with the hostess, busboy, and short-order cook.  What you learned REAL quick was to be sweet and always have a smile, always top off people's coffee and water no matter how busy you are, and always check on your guests--they shouldn't have to flag you down for something like extra napkins or a clean fork.  As far as upselling--I'd always suggested a specialty or seasonal dessert when I told folks the daily special--such as the strawberry pie.  Always suggest ice cream with the pie.  And always make people feel important and fuss over little old ladies. :)

Why do I always get wait staff who DON'T get it. My favorite duh moment. Your tab is $9.27 and you hand over a $20. They return with a $10 and a small pile of change. At that point you have a choice, keep digging in your purse to find a one dollar bill and parking meter food to scrunge up a tip or asking the waiter to break the $10. My pet peeve is when they obviously play up to my husband thinking he will pay the bill and tip. Ooppps. You forgot my refill. You brought my appetizer when others were on dessert and you treat the men at the table like Gods... Sometimes they do go above board. I always tip well when my children are well served. I love it when they offer to make a to go box or put my refill in a cup for the road.

If it's a game, then I don't mind rewarding when they play the game well.  Go ahead, make me feel warm and fuzzy; really outstanding service is almost an artistic pleasure.

My husband and I always pay the norm of about 20% to the wait staff, UNLESS service is horrible and then it might be 10%.  BUT, the exception is when you take the time during your meal to observe your wait staff and how the relate to other tables too and how they truly work the assigned area.  There are times when we have left a 50% tip as a surprise to a hardworking waiter/waitress. Why do we do this? Our son waits tables for a five star restaurant in Dallas, and we hear horror stories all the time, even of those that walk the bill entirely.  

I agree fully above with extra tipping for those that see a situation with children or elderly (Who also want to go boxes all the time) and how they respond to that with out being asked.  

Kudos to those that serve us with a good heart, they deserve to be paid.

Perhaps it is time to raise their base salaries as well.

The best service I ever got was when I told my waitress that her tip starts at 20% whether it goes up or down is up to you. My glass never got below half, the bread was always replaced before the basket was empty, and the food portions even seemed larger.  She made 30% on that bill.  I always tip in cash and pay with a credit card.  I have been a weekly regular with her for a year now.

I always leave 20% tips (and sometimes more when the service is particularly good and the bill is small like cheap diners) unless the service is terrible and I know it's the waitperson's fault.  It's my way of bribing the universe so that I never have to wait tables again.

NYT is right. In some states wait staff make a base pay of like, $2.60 an hour and NEED those tips to survive.

I don't feel like SMILING is some sort of deception to take my money. Restaurants are in the hospitality industry. If you get a waiter/waitress that is nice and helpful, they are doing their job right.

My boyfriend is a sous chef, and so we have lots of friends who wait tables. Oh the stories I hear.

If you can't afford to tip wait staff for a job well done, you can't afford to be eating in that restaurant. Same goes if you're too cheap to tip properly. Avoid eating places you are expected to tip and avoid the bad karma that comes with bad tipping.

I use to deliver pizza for awhile, my goal was to always seem like it was the first time I was knocking on a door. You only have 20 seconds to make an impression, beyond the time it takes to get there. Some tips: If you think they see you get out of your car, run to the door. Make the transaction interactive, look at the price on the boxes with the customer (stating the price makes you an ATM), put them in their hands after taking the cash but before giving change (full hands want less change). Always give back enough change to get a tip, $5 is five ones, not a five. Hide the fives.

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