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Are women shoppers unfairly stereotyped?

Posted Sep 08 2008, 01:41 PM by Karen Datko
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Jason at Frugal Dad asks us to test our perceptions by closing our eyes and imagining this scene: "The shopper, loaded down with bags from a morning of scouting out sales, walked briskly toward the mall's exit."

In your mental image, was a woman holding those bags? You're busted.

"Right, it was a woman," Jason says. "That's because most stereotypical views of shoppers and shopaholics assume women are the major offenders." And that's flat-out wrong.

Jason used to criticize his wife for excessive spending on her scrapbooking hobby, until he mentally calculated what his new laptop, pager and truck had cost. Even though she spent more time going to stores, her total purchases -- compared with his -- were a pittance.

"The average man has many jokes in his arsenal about how much his wife likes to shop, but if they really stopped to analyze spending they would probably discover they spend just as much (and in most cases, much more) on big-ticket items," Jason writes in a post called "It's no secret -- women shoppers get a bad rap."

Not only is this unfair, but it may be a source of unnecessary frustration in your relationship. Try removing the stereotype and looking at it this way, Frugal Dad reader BTG suggests. Is one person in your home a "little purchases, big volume" spender and the other a "large purchases, low volume" shopper?

Another reader, Jeremy, proposes a three-step approach to discussing spending:

    • Be brutally honest about your financial situation.

    • Make full disclosure. Each person should itemize expenditures.

    • Don't assign blame. "When we are short of money, it's because we both have pulled our wallets out when we should have reconsidered," Jeremy writes.

    Comments

     

    Well look at it this way:  A man will spend money on a new car or a TV, that is true.  HOWEVER...those things actually get used every day.  A woman will keep buying clothes and only wear 20% of what's in her closet.  

    My husband needs to read this!  

    @Dr. Nissan, while the car & tv may be used every day, a lot of gadgets I've seen men buy are used by the man alone. Even the tv sometimes....which makes it a self-centered purchase.

    I also wear something closer to 80% of my wardrobe. Not really sure where you're getting your numbers...

    Another thing to consider is that women tend to be the hunter-gatherers for the whole family. This is changing, but it's changing SLOWLY, so women are still the ones buying groceries, clothes for the kids (who outgrow them really quickly), supplies for school projects, pet supplies, OTC medications, birthday and holiday presents, yet another pair of mittens because one got lost....

    @Donna:  That's a good point--traditionally women have been the primary shoppers in the houseshold.  As a husband who didn't used to do much grocery shopping, I would just go nuts when my wife came home and told me she spent $120 at the grocery store.  The smartest thing she ever did was ask me do some shopping on my own.  I no longer complain about our grocery expenses.  

    "A woman will keep buying clothes and only wear 20% of what's in her closet."

    Talk about a stereotype

    Dr. Nissan, at least a woman will hunt for and negotiate the best price when buying that car or TV, while a man typically just goes the instant gratification route.  Yes, I am sure I spend more than my husband overall but that's because we would be broke if I let him handle the deals!  At least I know I'm buying logically and getting value for my dollar.  He would be the first to admit that he's not.  <http://creditmomblog.com>

    I wear all the clothes in my closet- which about 80% of them were bought at thrift shops.  

    There is no doubt that most women like to shop.  But we also like to find deals and save money too.  I can go to the mall and shop all day and not spend a penny if I don't find anything worth my money.  I just enjoy the looking, seeking and maybe finding.  I am lucky, my husband understands this about me.  When I say I want to go to the mall he dosn't worry about how much I might spend.

    Jody C.

    www.onemomfivekids.blogspot.com

    Dr. Nissan:  You can't seriously mean that a man drives that Hummer every day with gas prices being what they are?  

    Actually, when it comes to tech and major items, I'm more likely to do my research about what suits our needs than my boyfriend is.  

    CreditMom...most men do not just go out and buy the first TV they see.  

    To Mrs. Michah....I am basing my numbers on what I have seen firsthand.  This applies to numerous girlfriends in the past.  Plus my wife, my sister in law, my mother, my grandmothers, and almost every other woman I know.  

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