Wanting less, appreciating more
Posted
Aug 13 2008, 09:59 AM
by
Donna Freedman
Rating:
This guest post comes from Abigail Perry at I Pick Up Pennies.
When Tim and I returned from our honeymoon in late May, waiting for us were several gift cards we received as wedding presents. These cards begged to be spent, and we obliged.
I’ve been fighting materialistic urges since the cards zeroed out. Materialism is an awful habit because you can never have enough. There is always newer technology on bigger screens with better resolution. There will always be some fashion in vogue that you lack. It’s relentless.
Purses, jewelry, clothes, electronics -- all have been calling to me. I’ve been hyperaware of everything I didn’t have.
Like an MP3 player.
‘Memories, like the corners of my mind …’
Oh, I had a player. I'd had it for four years. We used it to play the music at our wedding, but no one remembered packing it up after the reception. We searched our apartment and the reception hall, to no avail. It was apparent that the device had become someone's five-finger discount.
I was heartbroken.
The player meant something to me because I had obtained it during the lowest point in my life in terms of both health and money. It had taken me almost a year and a half to save enough MyPoints to buy it. During that time I researched the technology and read consumer and expert reviews of various models. I read, and I planned, and I waited.
My player was bigger than most and had a clunky scroll instead of arrows or a touch pad. It was outdated almost as soon as I bought it. But I loved it, and I used it for four years.
Now it was gone, and instead of feeling exhilarated by the prospect of new technology, I missed my old dinosaur.
All my wishing wasn’t bringing it back, though. I accepted that the old player was lost, and selected a new model from a company I trusted. It had a color screen, was thinner than a pack of gum and, best of all, it cost only $20 after rebate.
One day, while making an inventory of wedding supplies I wanted to sell on Craigslist, I found my old player buried among some pillar candles. I rushed to the next room to tell Tim the good news. (And it was good news: He got to keep the new one.)
‘I tidied up my point of view -- I got a new attitude’
This isn't just a story of my unnatural love for a piece of technology. It’s about relearning the meaning of frugality.
Careful spending is not just a means to an end, like paying down debt or saving for a house. Frugality is a different way of looking at the world. It's spending your money on things that matter rather than spending just to fill your home.
That player was important to me. When I got it back, I realized that most of my purchases over the years have had little real meaning to me. The two pedometers ($9.99 and $14.99) that Tim and I used only for a couple of days, at least $40 worth of wedding decorations that I wound up not even using, a $28 bathing suit that I will probably never wear again -- these and many other things were simply perceived needs that I filled, not really stopping to think about them. They were bought just for the sake of buying, and they left me feeling empty.
When I put time, effort and planning into a purchase, that care is reflected in my relationship with the items. So now I have a new goal: want less, appreciate more. I will not spend my life cataloging all the things I don't have. Instead, I will spend my time -- and my money -- on things that will mean something to me.
Other articles of interest at I Pick Up Pennies:
Why I won't save an emergency fund
Something for nothing
Why I suddenly feel rich
