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Dining dilemma: How do you split the check?

Posted Jul 18 2008, 04:09 PM by Karen Datko
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Mike at Clever Dude recently faced one of those "does this make me look cheap?" moments. He and Stacie were part of a group of 11 honoring a departing colleague with dinner. Mike and Stacie split a veggie main course after everyone shared appetizers, and they drank water. Others had meat dishes and drinks.

When it was time to pay, the others decided the bill should be split evenly, which would cost Mike and Stacie a lot more than the price of their actual meals. What do you do when you're faced with that situation?

This question pops up in everyone's life. Why should you pay for other people's splurges when you opted to keep your own costs down? Would that be fair?

Mike figured he and Stacie actually owed a combined total of $24, including tax, tip and their share of the honored guest's meal. But if the bill was split evenly among the 11 who were paying (they were treating the guest), Mike and Stacie would have had to pay $49.

Here are some options:

    • Pay the entire, possibly budget-busting $49.

    • Ask for separate checks -- which is not always possible and is bound to tick off the waiter.

    • Pay just what you owe, and forget about whether your colleagues think you're a cheapskate.

    Mike tossed in $27 and offered more, but the shy guy collecting the money declined and made up the difference. Ouch. Mike wrote: "Think I'm cheap? Think I'm a hero? Think I'm an absolutely normal, boring guy?" Oh, no, Mike. Never boring.

    Of course, his readers had something to say. "I think you did the right thing by taking the middle ground. Too bad that one person absorbed the cost though. Everyone should have paid what they owed, not the even split," Momma said.

    Some readers told about other awkward restaurant situations. Karen said, "Some acquaintances are horrible tippers and sometimes they look at what they think the total should be with a tiny tip and subtract what we gave them, so they pay less and part of our tip goes toward their meal." How rude.

    Alex suggested that Mike and Stacie should have ordered two main courses and taken the leftovers home. "Then you wouldn't have looked so cheap, and the guy collecting the money wouldn't have had to put more in. Nor would he tell his co-workers what a tightwad you were behind your back."

    Comments

     

    The group was wrong in splitting the check -- it was not fair to those ate less expensive meals -- I had this happen once -- never again

    Just ask for separate checks.  Simple, up front and fair.  If other people think you are cheap, well, that is their opinion.  Besides, they are the ones who probably had the steak & shrimp and the most cocktails.

    Seperate checks for groups eating together should be the norm and not the exception.  The exception is when everyone is eating from the same trough (i.e., pizza).  The key is to make this clear with everyone up-front before the order is taken, especially with the waiter.  If the waiter refuses - immediately leave for someplace else.  They'll quickly get the message.  This has been a problem and a source of hurt feelings among friends for too long!

    Seems like there are those who would take advantage of their "friends." Pay in cash the menu price for your items plus share of honoree plus tax plus tip. Standing up for the guy who picked up the shortage would be the honorable thing. Let the others at the table know that you are paying what is fair and THEY should do the same to keep from shafting the guy making up the shortage.

    Many waiters expect a larger tip for separate checks but that is the social way to be fair to every one.

    when in this situation, i agree with the others. Decline the meal, put in for the guest of honor. If you are that close with the guest, a simple personal card will do just fine then you have done your part and avoided the drama.

    If someone want to spurge on appetzerr, desert and especially mixed drinks, then they should pay more.  The group of people I associate with realize this and 'throw' in the extra money as such they should.

    What if the service was terrible and because of the size of your party, your table was surcharged 20% gratuity for larger parties.  Would you be obligated to pay the 20% ?

    Say the service was outstanding and the meal was adequate or more so and you felt like tipping extra, would the rest in your party use that "extra" towards the total amount of the bill, including tip?  On arrival, be the first to greet the host/hostess/waiter and reason for your gathering and ask for separate checks.  Appetizers should NOT be ordered unless it is agreed upon that everyone should partake an EQUAL share and likewise contribute to the expense, along with the G-O-H's meal. Ever have that someone eat more than their EQUAL share of a shared meal? How do you handle that person?

    How about saying to your FRIENDS "Since we only had a vegie plate and water, this is the cost of our meal plus our share of the honoree's meal plus our tip. You guys can split the rest." If you are with FRIENDS,then they should think this is fine and take it from there. I don't drink and I often have a smaller meal than my friends. THere is no way I am going to pay more than my fair share. It is not about being a cheap skate.

    I am not bashful about asking for separate checks; why does the waiter get tipped in the first place, and I tip well; the last time this happened at an expensive restaurant it was obvious the couple across from me were watching the cost and the guy down the table was drinking top shelf like a fish; I refuse to split the cost in situations like that and if you think I'm a cheapskate, then deal with it.

    I don't get what the big idea is about having the wait-person split a check.  Isn't that part of the job they agreed to when they became employed?  If all 11 people had come in one-by-one, they would have taken up 11 tables, and still had separate checks.  This way, the server gets 11 customers in a short period of time, 11 tips (hopefully), and may still get other tables to serve.  Almost all restaurant POS systems are touch screen-based systems.  Is it really that horrible to expect the server to have to take an extra 15 seconds per person to handle separate checks?  I'm tired of hearing about all of the terrible inconveniences that "tick off the waiter"!

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