Why does it matter to you that this was a white, middle aged , bading male  who drove an SUV?  I am so tired of this type of stereo typing.  It shouldn't matter what he was driving, his income level or what his ethnicity, it was just poor behavior.  Not all folks who choose to drive SUV's are "bad" people or "suckers" for driving them,just as not all homeless people are drug abusers.  You have no idea how many miles he drives that SUV a week, just as you have no idea where the homeless man spends your dollar.

You are right you can't make generalizations about people without facts.

So here they are: according to what I have read, about 80-90% of people who are homeless battle either addition or mental illness.  I'm sure there are cases where some lost their jobs or had a catastrophic illness.  But there are resources to help people and people who don't battle those kinds of demons usually turn to those resources for help.  I think it's a common fear in everyone: what if I lose my job and become homeless?  Chances are that most people won't becuase they will either turn to resources or they will hunker down and do what they need to do to survive.  those who become homeless often (not always) don't have that mentality.

There was also a documentary done on Showtime I think, where a homeless man was given $100,000 to help get him out of poverty, and his every action was followed.  What did he do with it?  He lived the high life (bought an SUV, gave money away to other homeless people, his family mooched the rest) and within a few months he was back on the street again.  He was asked why he didn't use the money to get educated or an apartment and his response was basically that he didn't want to change and would rather sift through garbage for bottles and cans than 'work for the man'.

So even when a homeless man was given a handout he didn't help himself out of poverty.  

You are not a sucker for giving the man money because you wanted to give and that is admirable.  Having read and seen different points of view on the topic I feel that my dollar is better spent being given to a charity.  Just thought I would play devil's advocate here :)

I probably would have given the homeles guy a dollar or two also if it looked like he really needed it.  Small price for the good feeling most of us get when helping the less fortunate.  I am retired and not a  wealthy person. Somedays I see my life savings lose over $ 1,000 which is caused more by greedy speculators than supply/demand factors.  If I am a sucker its for giving big bucks to these wealthy fat cats and not  a buck or two to the homeless.

Donna--Again you have written a wonderfully thought-provoking article.

This story, and ones from your readers, reminded me of when I was a little girl (must have been in the early 1980s). My dad and I were walking into a grocery store together when an older man asked my dad if he could spare his change. My dad sized him up and, to my surprise, handed him a $20 bill. The man was over-joyed. We went about our business and when we were in the checkout line, that hungry homeless man was in front of us. He bought himself a basket full of food: one of which was a small strip steak.

Now that I am grown, I know that at that time, my dad was working 2 jobs to help my mom go to nursing school. He couldn't afford it, but he did it any way. Remembering that story made me cry. Thank you for reminding me to be charitable.

Just one thought and its a bit off-topic, so I apologize beforehand. I just wanted to say that sometimes, it might not be true here at all, but sometimes if you find yourself overly involved in other people's comment or disapproval of you, maybe you can examine your own strength as well. Again, its probably not true for the author here, but it was for me and I had to learn how to stay within myself sometimes and stick up for myself (internally) even when other people disapproved of something I said or did. Just came to mind because it took me a while (30+ years) to have enough strength within that I could take other people's disapproval and be ok with it. Also takes support. Anyway, off topic, but it just came to mind. You give all you think is appropriate to give and let others scold you for it. They'll come around. The deeper truth is that if you think that "Sucker" shouting guy doesn't have crummy relationship issues due to his attitude, you are deluding yourself. We all have problems and issues, we all are broken, he just chose to clearly show us what some of his issues are. :)

One time I gave $5.00 to an elderly man that was sitting on the side walk in front of a convenient store near my house.  I had seen him around town before and it was obvious that he was a homeless person.  The next day, I was walking down the beach and found a $10.00 bill laying in the sand near the water.  i truly believe that this was from God.  I have given and been given to.  As a single mother, raising children alone, I've always had to keep a tight budget.  One time when I was standing in line in the grocery store with my youngest, he asked me for a dollar toy he wanted.  I explained to him quietly that I only had enough to buy the food we needed. He understood and didn't complain.  I was completely unaware that the lady behind us was watching and listening.  She got my attention and as she held out a twenty, she asked if it would be alright for her to give me money to buy my son some toys.  I was so surprised I didn't know what to say.  Literrally, I was speechless.  She said that she felt led to give it to me.  I accepted the money and told my son to chose some toys.  I put the rest of the money up so he would have it next time he wanted something.  It brought tears to my eyes that we mattered to this lady.  I'm still a single mom struggling to get by, but if I feel led to give, I give.  We may not always have what we want, but by the grace of God, we always have what we need.

You are a very kind lady, Donna. In this day and age, the fellow driving the SUV may be the drug addict or level 3 sex offender.

Giving money to street people is usually a genuine act of kindness.  Do they abuse it?  Who really knows?  What I do know is that much of what is given to "charity" ends up lining some not-for-profit executive's pocket; that much of what church goers in the poorest and least educated of neighborhoods give ends up supporting some Reverend Ike wannabe; and that a whole lot of the money paid in taxes gets wasted and pissed away faster than the government can find new and creative ways to suck even more from me.    

Keep on giving to the street person.  Think twice about giving to any organized charity.  Stop giving to organized religion, especially if you really don't have the money to give.  And, last but not least, resist and oppose any and all taxes and complain to high heaven about the rampant waste in government.  

I've started keeping health bars in my car to give out WITH a dollar ever since I saw the car in front of me do that and the man who received the food, fell down on the ground and ripped into the food like he was starving.  He was so hungry he even let cars go pased who were going to give him money in order to wolf down the food.

I donate what I can to the church which feeds the hungry (through their missions)... I donate canned goods to the homeless shelter in my town...  But I am afraid of the strangers that pass me and seem to hustle you into giving them a $.  Some of them are teenagers, no older than I am.  Some are probably 20s... I cannot say I have sympathy for them.  I do give to those who seem desperate.  If I had no $, as I didn't one day when I was walking out to meet a friend for lunch, I gave him my banana and a drink (the one I just bought).  I gave someone else leftovers when I met them from lunch... because I had already spent my last $ at lunch...

Is it wrong for me to fear some strapping young male who seems to be aggresive in trying to get a buck from me?  I don't think so.  Is it wrong for me to harden my heart against the panhandlers?  Perhaps...  But I've seen panhandlers in the Islands.  And right next to them are children selling anything they've created so they can help feed their families.  I have gone out of my way to buy from the child and give more besides, but I've passed by the panhandler who wanted nothing more than to stand next to someone just as destitute as he is, and yet finds a way to try and make it...