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Are we raising a generation of whiners?

Posted Jul 14 2008, 02:26 PM by Karen Datko
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Jesse at You Need a Budget has a 4-month-old daughter, Lydia, and is concerned about how to raise her properly. He's deeply worried about what he sees as an American trend.

In a post that pulls no punches on a subject many others might dance around, he writes: "I'm sure it's partly my own biases, seeing things through my own lens, but it seems society is bent on making our kids the softest, weakest, most selfish, spoiled brats the world has ever known. Are we raising a Generation Y-Me?" His answer: Yes.

There's are risks associated with making this argument. You can sound like the old grandpa who claimed to have walked three miles to school each way in the snow -- barefoot, no less. You could end up stereotyping an entire generation -- which is unfair -- and turning people off to your message.

But isn't it still worth talking about, as we prepare our children for a world that's probably not going to be as predictable and prosperous as the one we've come from?

Jesse says our approach to personal finance has morphed over the last several decades. He writes: "The crowning achievement in personal finance for my grandfather and his generation was to 'own your home' (and it was likely 1,000 square feet -- not 2,000-plus). It seems the baby boomer changed that clarion call to something along the lines of 'leverage what equity you do have in your home to fit a lifestyle you can't afford.'"

In other words, he's identified the source of the problem -- and it is us. "If we screw up, we look for a bailout," he says. "If we're duped, we look for a regulator to prevent us from being duped again." Our kids are raised to be soft, and they're told they are all winners. The Wii has taken the place of "we are going outside to play," he says.

He plans to teach Lydia that life can be tough and prepare her for a struggle. He says: "If we always hold her hand, she'll never learn to walk. If we give her handouts, she'll never learn to work. Sacrifice. And win."

Comments

 

The boomer generation seems to be to be a bigger set of whiners than the current crop of kids.  They want to be retired, but live life to the fullest, with no thought to the debt they are leaving behind for future generations through their Medicare drug policy, tax cuts for seniors and using Medicare to go to the doctor every time a new ache appears.  In my area, there is a large group of boomers lobbying that they cannot pay property tax, even though they are already given a reduced rate.  Every thing I read tells me that the wealth of the nation in mostly in the hands of boomers.  Stop whining and pay your share.

I agree that people worry to much in this country, but that's because of the lack of values, morales, and just a general sense of what really matters.  I believe for the past 20 years we have been raising whiners.  We have taught "you get something for nothing" or "I expect something in return", the lsit goes on and on.  You may choose to not care or worry, that's you're right, I prefer to teach morales and values and accountability in order to allow my children to be better off than I am or could be.

Those of you who chooese not to, well, all I have to say is "natural selection" =)

Baby Boomers Whine the loudest, I try not to, I am a boomer, born in 1957, raised by frugal parents with common sense, I am passing what I learned to the next generation of my family. During the Alan Greenspan/Ben Bernanke regime no one has  been greatly rewarded by the use of common sense. Just wish the politicians would not be in competition to see which party can have the best bailout plan with present/future taxpayers money for those that have been absolute glutins-now whiners.  Markets will dictate the ups and downs of our economy, bailouts will  postpone the markets intent and cost the taxpayers dearly. Good /borrowed money to bail out bad/borrowed money.  FDIC insured institutions are required be bailed out. Bear Stearns and the like should not be rescued at taxpayers expense.

WOW!!!  Someone finally hast the nerve to call attention to a real problem.  I can just see the icy glare from a twenty-something mom...a real 'HOW DARE YOU' from the spoiled parent...YES SPOILED PARENT!! This generation of parents was born on third base, and think they hit a triple.  That attitude is not their fault...their parents, me included, failed to instill the discipline required to prepare them to raise their own brood.  Entitlement has come to mean starter homes at $400k, a new SUV with the birth of a child, and no sense of responsibility to provide for the future.  We have elected officials based on what they can do for us, and transferred responsibility for individual needs to an ever increasing and self propagating social network.  We need to reduce our dependence on the unsustainable burden of huge state and federal programs, and force ourselves to teach Americans how to earn, then allow them to keep more of their incomes, increasing personal responsibility, and reducing the tax burden.

To babied boomer: If you expect to get a "deal" from your country - whatever that means - you're always going to be disappointed. TANSTAAFL!: There ain't no such thing as a free lunch!  Our parents (I'm also a boomer) got where they did through hard work and perseverence; to the extent they didn't succeed, it was because they were duped into thinking the government would be there to solve all their problems.  Unfortunately, many of them passed this notion on to their kids - us - and we then passed it on to our kids.  If our kids are successful in the long run, it will be because they worked at it, not because they were given anything.  

I have two kids and DW and I raised them to be self-sufficient and with the knowledge of how to work.  One is successful in the Army, after putting himself on a training regimen and losing 100 lbs. so they would accept him.  The other is having more trouble finding his place in the world, but right now his main focus (not mine) is paying back some money he owes us, with never a complaint.  I'm equally proud of them both and I know they will both be successful.

I fear for the future of this country. It will eventually be captained by the latest generation of coddled crybabies....soft, self centered, spoiled, babies.  Winning isn't everything but when we  delude ourselves into believing that "everyone is a winner then NO-ONE IS A WINNER. What a sick delusion to pass on to your children. When "everyone is special" then NO-ONE IS SPECIAL!!!  Where is the incentive to achieve if you will only be compared equally with LOSERS?  It is no wonder that American students are falling further and further BEHIND in the areas of academic achievement on the world stage where OBJECTIVE RESULTS MATTER.

Maybe if this generation actually had to EARN THINGS instead of being HANDED EVERYTHING by their parents (doesn't anyone have any pride anymore?) there would be a return to the type of work ethic that result in ACHIEVEMENT.  

It is true that whining is prevalent...but when has it NOT been? I am a Gen-Xer, & I get sick of some of the blase, slacker mentality made so famous by many 90's films; but, many of the slacker (& now, "whiner") complaints are valid. What alot of the old-timers (no offense meant) seem to forget is, when they brag about their own toughness & loyalty, they're referring to a society that no longer exists. The mercenary-employee attitude (i.e. "me first") was spawned by ruthless corporate greed & government indifference/incompetence--not the other way around.

Back in my day we didn't have whinners...  and we walked to school in the snow uphill both ways..

I agree with previous posts that if children are whiners, their parents made them that way.  I know of college professors that have gotten calls from parents because their kids were failing, and blaming the professor.  This does not teach kids responsibility.  Helping out your college age kids is one thing, as long as they learn their lesson, but bailing them out time and again, that also does not teach them responsibility.  Wanting your kids to have a better life is fine, but does that mean doing everything for them?  What kind of life is that?

I always wondered what would happen to the kids who grew up in a two-income household,  with a large new house with all the electronic gadgets, new cars and nice vacations.  I couldn't imagine them going out into the world and drastically lowering their standard of living, sleeping on mattresses on the floor, using bricks and boards for furniture and eating noodles like we did back in the 70s.

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