Wow - this is my kind of post!  Yes, we are raising a generation of whiners.  Unfortunately, too many adults are whiners, so it makes sense their kids would grow up that way, too.  Just think of the celebrations of achievement that are being taken away in the name of protecting someone's feelings (no more valedictorians, no more winners and losers in youth sports - in fact, most leagues don't even keep score until kids are ten years old).  What's next, no more spelling bees?  

Kids need to be taught that there are winners and losers in life.  Competition is natural, and losing should only make you want to try harder next time, not find something or someone to blame for your loss.

YES! I'm in my late twenties and I'm worried because a lot of my friends are having a difficult time becoming independent adults. They've never been held accountable or taught to put forth the effort to become self-reliant. Many of them are still relying on (and living home with) their parents, and the mind-boggling thing is that their parents are more than happy to dish out money for cars/gas, food, insurance, phone bills...at what age are the "kids" supposed to wake up and think "I should be taking care of myself now"? They won't. They never had to.

ridiculous. my parents are the WWII generation, and they lived under the promise of the New Deal -- that if you worked hard every day, you'd have a home, be able to send your kids to school and give them a better life than you had, and retire without eating cat food.

Baby boomers like me had the added advantages of inexpensive college educations and plentiful jobs.

Today's kids don't get the same deal from their country. They'll pay much more in taxes, and they don't have nearly as much opportunity. The economy isn't growing. Real wages are declining. Their retirements rely on 401(k)s in a stock market that hasn't risen in years. That's why more of them haven't been able to get on their feet financially. They have every reason to whine.

Let's not assume that all parents are created equal. Not all kids are bad, sometimes the parents are bad. Yes, the grandparents did not have the luxuries of today - but growing up was not all pure and innocent. Child abuse was rampant, sexual abuse out of control, and alcoholism prevalent. I think it is dangerous to glorify the "old" days and hold ourselves or our children up to such standards. I'm 50 and trust me, life wasn't all that great in the good old days. I am proud to have offered my son more and I am proud that he is an independent, non bratty 30 year old. Self indulgence is often the result of unavailable parents and addiction - don't assume the children are spineless, weak, and irresponsible. Resiliency comes in many shapes and sizes - some have better skills than others.

My kids are now in their 30s or approaching it.  My wife and I tried to teach them manners, respect for others, and to appreciate what they had and not to worry greatly about what they didn't have.  A little dog-eared book titled "Less Is More" sat on our bookshelf and we put a lot of it into practice.

The kids grew up adequately cared for, never missed a meal, did chores, learned stuff, and became appreciative and resilient. In some ways they have a tougher time getting started than I did, but they are hard workers, clear thinkers, and survivors.

If more kids had grown-ups for parents, they would naturally rise to the occasion most of the time.  

We have raised many generations of whiners..Baby Boomers whine when they are faced with decreasing house values that they can't borrow against any more, when they realize that they have not saved enough for retirement and that the promise of Social Security will be reduced.  Their children whine when they realize that they may just have to take care of old Mom and Dad, pay for their expenses, food, health care, nursing home, and funeral expenses. Their grandchildren are whining in their cribs today for good reasons....Spending every penny when you are young, living beyond your means, and saving nothing means that you have a good chance of living in poverty in your old age and dragging your off-spring down with you.

Whinning... Who cares ?

I do not care if my son wins or losses at soccer, he is 9 years old and he does not care either. I hate those stupid coaches yelling at the kids.

Who cares about what will happen 10, 20 or 30 years from now... hey, I may die tomorrow, who knows... My 401K ? $0. I have all my money in the futures & stock market (OIL) and you know what, I made few $$$$$ lately but who cares, money comes and goes.

I am ok if he whines either, I prefer him to speak up and air his fears or his concerns than to let others choose for him. If he is not happy, I want him to say so. I want him to express himself.

People tend to care and worry too much in this country. I like carefree living but I will speak up if I am feeling discomfort or I am not happy (if you want to call me a whiner, I just don't care).

Even in the same family, I see this working. I was born in 1983, my brother in 1989 - I was raised mostly by a single mother struggling to make ends meet, while my brother ended up living with my upper middle class father for most of his life. I've had a job since I was sixteen, he (begrudgingly) got his first job at 19 - and struggles to keep it due to apathy. But then, he also still lives at home where  parents feed and shelter him, asking nothing in return. What's the motivation to have a job? At 19, I was living on my own. Like I said - even in the same family, I see differences in how we were raised, and it seems I turned out a lot more self-sufficient. It's boggling, and frustrating even when you're supposed to belong to the same generation as the "whiners"...

It's interesting to see responses to this, I'm a near-retirement-age boomer with no children, no debt, and no idea which style of child-rearing will be "correct" at all.  I do want to comment on the difference between "whine" and "assert" as I believe there might be some common ground to be discovered.

In my opinion, to whine is to complain about a situation you do not agree with and will refuse rational discussion to seek resolution, I see it as a pre-tantrum condition.

To assert your concerns is a healthy and rational approach to problem solving.  To be properly assertive we need to know this critical difference.  Many classes purporting to teach "assertiveness" seem to miss this distinction, thereby producing more whiners than thinkers.

Care and worry too much?  We are all in this world together - what I do affects others - and children need to be taught to understand consequences (intended or unintended) of their action or decision to act.  For example, driving through a neighborhood without respect for others (i.e. too fast, too noisy, etc.) carries eventual consequences for everyone - speed bumps, noise ordinances, one-way streets and other "traffic-calming" measures which tend to raise angst and affect everyone.  Taking advantage of others financially results in more regulation, selfish construction results in additional building codes and restrictive ordinances.

Time was, neighbors would share their ideas and intentions, get a feel for the degree of comfort, and adjust their plans accordingly.  Very little of this happens today, or so it seems.

I will say what I have said many times before...anyone who points the finger at the younger generation needs to look at themselves first.  Gen X and Y were raised by baby boomers, so the personality flaws of the children are at least partially the fault of those who raised them.