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How people treat you when they think you're poor

Posted May 30 2008, 07:07 PM by Karen Datko
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Shannon Christman isn't poor, but she is frugal, and sometimes other people confuse the two.

On occasion, salespeople have snubbed her -- and missed out on making a sale. Sometimes generous people offer help when it's not needed. Her thought-provoking post at Saving Advice should raise questions in any thinking person's mind about how quickly we make judgments about others. She also says, "The assumptions others make about my frugality -- usually that I have much less money than I actually do -- can be a benefit to me."

Her best anecdote is about picking a real estate agent. Shannon and her husband went with the agent who talked to them even though they looked too young to afford a house. She writes, "I sometimes wish that the Realtor in the neighboring booth, who dismissed our initial questions to talk with a wealthier-looking prospect, could have seen us signing closing papers on a mid-priced house shortly thereafter."

Another story she tells is about the couple who offered her family a kid's meal toy at a fast-food place, apparently because her family of four was sharing three menu items and one big soda. (They could have afforded more but it would have gone to waste.) Shannon wasn't offended. "After all, I can never be really sure that the motive was anything other than simple generosity," she says.

At times, there are benefits to looking poorer than you are, particularly when you're shopping for a car. Another is that other frugalists will identify with you. Shannon says, "Whether it's someone behind a counter who offers me a special deal that she knows a frugal person would appreciate, or a fellow shopper who is eager to pass on news of other bargains in the area, like-minded savers are good acquaintances to make."

Comments

 

Most of the stories told us how the shops are going after the client's money, despite of what the clothing is. Better story would be how the shops serve their customers later on after the merchandise had been long purchased or how they serve some customers with no money at all!

Reminds me of the time I went to buy a new car.  I was a young college student and although I did get helped by a salesperson, when she asked how I was going to finance the car, I said I'd be paying cash.  She replied, 'How did someone like you get that kind of money?!'  Needless to say, I did not buy a car from her or that dealership.

I started with zilch and worked my way through a well known university...picked up my CPA license while working for the government. I work like 7 days a week and pretty much have whatever I could possibly want due to hard work. I am not a genius but as my late father would say to me "you get nothing for nothing."  This is still America and you can be successful but you have to work for it.

My first job out of high school, I worked as a receptionist at a luxury car dealership.  Because I was sharp and going to business school, the manager let me help out in the finance department when things got busy.  I learned that a lot of times, the people we had no problem financing or didn't need financing were the ones who looked like they just got done mowing the lawn and the ones we had to go thorugh subprime for were the ones who came in wearing designer everything.

My next job after that was as a teller at a major bank, and the same held true a lot of the time.  It's amazing how often the people who looked less impressive were the ones with all the money.  It has only reinforced to me that you can't prejudge someone by how they look and that maybe one of the reasons that those ordinary looking people had money was that they were careful in how they spent.  It didn't mean that they didn't have nice things, it just meant that they didn't spend on trivial things for the sake of looking like they had money.

I remember five years ago, me and my husband wanted to buy a house. So we had this realter lady from an agent show us houses around. We had told her how much we wantd to spend on a house but i think because of our ethinicity she was showing us houses that looked worse than the apartment that we were living in. So finally when we didn't get anything close to what we wanted we cancelled our plans of buying a house and she lost her commissin. So My advise is every human  being has big dreams, at least if you are a realter show someone that is looking to buy something worthy their dream 'cause you never know!

all of these things are so true im a young 22 year old truck driver and when im on the road i wear my comfortable clothes. so as i go to malls in different states i see how people treat me different from when im at home and looking nice they dont even try to help me or they think im trying to steal i just laugh all the way to the bank.

He who knows he has enough is rich. - Lao Tzu

That is so true Warren!! I don't feel offended when salepersons ignore me when I browse in their shops or when they stalk me like I was going to steal something. The important thing is I KNOW I CAN AFFORD to buy what I want to buy because I'm frugal. Plus the look on their faces when they saw I bought a big ticket item and they just lost a commision is just PRICELESS =)

I had an old Ford Explorer with close to 200k miles on it. I was very attached to it and I didn't feel a need to replace a car that served me well and still had lots of life left in it. We had lots of great memories! My mother got sick and I needed to drive a lot to care for her so my husband decided I should have a new car so he wouldn't worry about me on the road. I got a brand new SUV and when I drove it to work, a co-worker, really meaning no offense said, "I didn't think you could afford a car like that." I replied, "What part of 'I love my car' do you not understand? And besides, someone with lots of fancy new stuff doesn't have money. They have DEBT. Now, that guy with the ten year old Volvo and worn out tennis shoes.. HE has the money."

This is a phenomenon I have heard about and seen documented on the news a few years ago, but have never really experienced. I feel like salespeople harass me when I don't want any attention and the minute I would like to try something on, there are none in sight! I do remember a time when I was a full-time AmeriCorps Volunteer (domestic Peace Corps) living on $600 a month with the allowed $140 a month in food stamps. One day after work I stopped by a convenience store and asked if I could pay for my snacks with food stamps, to which the cashier said when I pulled out my card, "Yes, but you don't LOOK like a person on food stamps." And I said, "and WHAT exactly does a person on food stamps look like?" She didn't have an answer. I then continued to tell her about why I was on foodstamps and I ended up recruiting her for an upcoming volunteer event my organization was running. So in regards to this article, the judgement can go both ways!

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