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How people treat you when they think you're poor

Posted May 30 2008, 07:07 PM by Karen Datko
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Shannon Christman isn't poor, but she is frugal, and sometimes other people confuse the two.

On occasion, salespeople have snubbed her -- and missed out on making a sale. Sometimes generous people offer help when it's not needed. Her thought-provoking post at Saving Advice should raise questions in any thinking person's mind about how quickly we make judgments about others. She also says, "The assumptions others make about my frugality -- usually that I have much less money than I actually do -- can be a benefit to me."

Her best anecdote is about picking a real estate agent. Shannon and her husband went with the agent who talked to them even though they looked too young to afford a house. She writes, "I sometimes wish that the Realtor in the neighboring booth, who dismissed our initial questions to talk with a wealthier-looking prospect, could have seen us signing closing papers on a mid-priced house shortly thereafter."

Another story she tells is about the couple who offered her family a kid's meal toy at a fast-food place, apparently because her family of four was sharing three menu items and one big soda. (They could have afforded more but it would have gone to waste.) Shannon wasn't offended. "After all, I can never be really sure that the motive was anything other than simple generosity," she says.

At times, there are benefits to looking poorer than you are, particularly when you're shopping for a car. Another is that other frugalists will identify with you. Shannon says, "Whether it's someone behind a counter who offers me a special deal that she knows a frugal person would appreciate, or a fellow shopper who is eager to pass on news of other bargains in the area, like-minded savers are good acquaintances to make."

Comments

 

My mother worked witha fellow who saved up enough cash to purchase a new car. He was an older working class guy who walked into the dealership and NONE of the male salespeople would wait on him because he did not look like he could afford a car. Well the ONE female salesperson they had walked up to him and said " Good afternoon Sir, How can I help you?" Well Mr. Jack said "You can sell me that blue Caddy right over there Ma'm, I have the cash money to buy it today" Guess who got a commission that day and who did not.

I once gave a handful of coupons (25.00 - 75.00 off at a certain amount purchased) to a fellow shopper simply because I could not use them before they expired.   I am also guilty of telling another shopper of an unadvertised special at the grocery store - the display was easily passed up because the steep markdown was not advertised. I never meant to insult either one of those shoppers and I hope they took my gesture as intended;  I shall be more restrained from now on....

We had several real estate agents dismiss us because we appeared "too poor" for them. Eventually, we met our wonderful real estate agent, who, of course got the commission. She will also get the next commission when we decide to upgrade.

If I don't want to be bothered in stores while shopping for expensive items, I dig out a big plaid shirt and wear it. It is amazing the difference in how I am treated when wearing it. Plaid shirts get no respect.

its better to look poorer. you avoid the hyped up b.s. youre not hounded when in a store. i look richer than i am. so i know its more calming to ignored. when you want something you just get it.  

Long ago as a high-school teen I worked part time for a music store, doing demos and repairs to electronic keyboards, or organs as they were called then.   One day the store manager asked if I wanted to come with him to a sales training seminar.  At this seminar two pro sales guys explained all their sales methods for musical instruments and accessories (guitar amps etc).

One of the stories they told was "Never pre-judge a potential customer by what he is wearing."  (Did not apply so much to women because they usually did not go out in public wearng their working duds.)  

Their example was a musical instrument store in Toronto where a farmer walked in one day.  As they explained, "He was wearing blue overalls, a stained cotton shirt, and you know what was on his boots...".   None of the sales staff got up to assist him.  Only the store manager, when he saw the other sales staff were not about to disturb themselves to talk to a farmer, jumped up and went to the customer, shook his hand, and asked what he could do t for him.  The farmer replied "I want three of your electronic organs - one for my Mother, one for my Mother-in-law, and one for me."  Turned out he had had a very good harvest.

The store manager refused to talk to the staff for a week.  They learned.

Thanks for pointing to my blog post!  

Rose -- I would not have been at all insulted if you had handed me coupons or told me about a special.  In fact, I would have been thrilled!  (I would also not think you thought I was poor if you assumed I could afford to spend the required amount for those coupons.)  Please keep passing along the savings!

Nobody ever gave me a dime.  Doesn't bother me, though.  Just made me save like crazy so that I would always have two nickels to rub together. Everybody knows that I'm a cheapskate, but I am also the only person I know who has three houses and a farm practically paid off (oh, sorry, the farm was inherited), over twenty thousand in checking, and have the title to all three of my cars, which are all new enough not to worry about. Plenty of money in 401k's and IRA's, not to mention credit union CD's. And never had a job that paid over 30k.  Why I work outside the home  is just to get my country-fied wife off my back. And pay for all the things my spoiled kids dream they gotta have. Now, if I could just get my family to save like me, we'd be freak'in bazzilionaires. By the way,I think a flat tax system would encourage people to save like me; we should try it.

I am always grateful when people pass on their savings and any unadvertised specials.  I am one also to pass on any of my unused coupons when at stores because I would want someone to do the same for me.  However, i always try to give it to others who look like they are frugal like I am and not someone who just throws their money around.  

Looking poor or being looked upon as poor sometimes work to our advantage.  Thru this we know who exactly is our true friend and who is the money housefly.

Years ago, I had a friend who made really good money as a welder.  One day he went into a jewelry store after work, wearing his work clothes.  His work clothes were dirty and tattered.  He asked the salesman how much a certain watch was.  The salesman replied "You can't afford that watch".  That's pretty rude, but I would have liked to see the look on the salesman's  face when my friend roled up his sleeve to reveal the same watch.  He just replied "Obviously I can", and walked out.

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