If i Would find that debt i would divorce. The person would lose all my trust.

This actually sort of happened to me. I did not find out how much debt my current spouse had until after we were married and his mail started arriving at our residence.

It was not as if he hid it from  me when we were dating, but just that we never talked about finances.  When I finally realized the amount we quickly took action to reduce interest rates by moving high interest balances into lower or no interest accounts and started to pay them down.

We're still working through his (and my) debt, but at least now there is transparency with regard to that debt.

Now if he was lying or hiding things from me all this time, THAT would be a different story altogether.

As long as not my debt I would laugh and wish good luck.  Plus if forged my name garenteed fraud case I would not pay.  But then again I no one wants me :)).  I expect full financial disclosure pre marrige.

I had a similar situation to Kitty. I knew about my husband's debt before we married, but it wasn't until we started to combine finances and I actually saw the bills that it hit me just how much it was. I knew what I was getting into, but didn't realize the full situation. I'm better at budgeting, so I've taken on the finances and now *we* are paying it off. Even so, it is tough to deal with knowing that we'd be "sitting pretty" if it weren't for the payments.

If he had surprised me with this, that would be another story altogether. There's no way I'd pay a dime on it.

This ACTUALLY did happen to me with my now ex-husband. He had 5 credit cards that I didn't even know about until his mom told me the bills were setting at her house and wasn't paid for at least 9 months!  He was so far into debt that it started to affect my credit rating. Now that he is out of my life I am still paying on credit cards and other debts from our 5 year marriage!  My credit rating is so bad that I can't do anything until everything is paid off. I went through debt counseling - which was a joke and got me worse in trouble. Now its just trying to pay all of them off and work on my credit rating. And to say the least, I do not trust anything that comes out of his mouth. Just too bad that I have to deal with him due to a child we had together. I was already with child when I found out about this lies.

Had a similar experience as Jo, but did not know it until I moved out. I had all the mail diverted to my new address and all of a sudden started receiving bills for credit cards that I did not know we had. All told, we had over $120 K in unsecured debt, upside down on a new SUV plus a sizable mortgage. We couldn't even make the monthly bills. I only knew about the mortgage. Never again will I trust my financial health to someone else. After a divorce and bankruptcy, I am still trying to rebuild my credit. Just as a footnote: when my old truck finally died with over 200,000 miles on it and I applied for a loan on  a used car, my credit report at the dealership was nearly 50 pages long. She had been rolling debt for the entire 20 years we were married.  

I had my own debt problem and I married a man who was manipulative and a SPENDER!  While i was consolidating my debts, he was spending my money--he didn't work steadily as he was an ARTIST.  When I cut him off he went to his mother--she is now paying off his expenses---he is now 39 yrs old.  I finally declared bankruptcy and cleared the decks, I am now engaged to a great man who is thrifty so he is handling our accounts.  I brought truth to this relationship and hope to continue under his guidance, I realize I'm just not good at keeping books, I need an allowance and accountability.

my wife ran up 97000. 00 in credit card debt she cleaned out the remainder of my retirement. borrowed 4,000 dollars in my name. forged 11, 000 dollars in checks, kept everything hidden with a post offfice box for two years, and than she left me when all the bills were six months behind. now she wants half of everything and im having a hard time paying everything back. i filed for divorce and am trying to get custody of my three and six year old children and i hardley get to see. she has two accounts that she has kept hidden. She actknoleged one to the sheriff and actknoleged some of the forgeries. I am having a hard time to get anyone to do anything about it becouse kansas laws are very weak. also i have proof. WHAT CAN I DO????

Hi-

Barring all cases of bipolar psychological disorders or extreme domestic abuse, HIDING DEBT from your spouse is in the SAME category as CHEATING! It is a deception, a breach of trust on the same scale. No, your spouse does not run the risk of bringing home cooties, or getting some bimbo knocked-up as in the case of an adulterous affair. However, your spouse will most likely bring home hardship, disgrace, instability, struggle, distrust, great expense, and the ringing of bill collectors all day and all night. Oh yeah, and don’t forget all of the missed opportunities that go by while your working two jobs to pay back credit card companies at 29% interest. Worth it? C’mon people, has the collective character of our great country stooped so low in recent times? Are unnecessary goods, services, and keeping up with the Jones of more importance than the psychological, financial, and emotional stability within your very home?

I am what you would call a saver. This is the fashionable distinction to make these days; either you’re a SPENDER or a SAVER…whatever. Let me just say that I think this distinction is a load of crap. Either you are a responsible adult accountable for your actions, or you are behaving like an out of control child. The laws of money are based on simple mathematics that you learned in grade school. Apply them and you will reap success, forgo them and you will suffer more or less like those other fools out there right now getting foreclosed on. The banks and credit card companies don’t care how emotionally needy you were while you drank your $6 latte’s, bought a hummer, or just had to impress the neighbors with this, that, and the other thing. Unless you file for bankruptcy, you are basically on the hook, a slave to the lender. And another thing, the banks and lenders are smarter than you, they hire finance MBAs and PhDs who will work 80hrs per week figuring out how to get you in debt and keep you there.

How do I know this – EXPERIENCE. I was married to just such a person; she duped me three times in our 8yr marriage. Each time with a promise to change and that it would never happen again. I bailed us out of it each time, and when enough time went by and I let my guard down, she did it again. This third and final time I am forced to file bankruptcy, attempt to sell my house in a down market (all offers have been less than I paid for the home), my credit is ruined because she put my name on some of the cards which she never intended to pay, and to forfeit all of the sweat equity that I put into this home over the past four years of back breaking renovations that were done on nights and weekends after my 60 hour work week.