Envy is the enemy of frugality
Posted
May 13 2008, 04:30 PM
by
Karen Datko
Choosing to eliminate debt isn't simply a matter of spending less, "Finally Frugal" has found.
You may have to deal with a lack of support from loved ones. We're sorry to hear that her family's response to her new goal "was one of ridicule and disbelief."
You also have to identify and confront the demons that have made you spend more than you earn. In her case, the demon is envy. In a thoughtful essay, Finally Frugal provides some detailed solutions for overcoming her insecurity.
She writes that "as I thought about why I needed closets full of clothes and a home that was 'just so,' I discovered that I tended to compare myself and my things to others."
There are ways to put this thinking in proper perspective:
"You can't always believe what you see." She knows that a friend at work who is always perfectly attired is living on half the income she used to have, so maybe this woman's life isn't as great as it seems. (To read more on this subject, check out Kristy's post at Master Your Card about how sometimes the shabbier-looking customers at her bank have tons of money, and sometimes the best-dressed are seriously overdrawn.)
"The Joneses aren't really paying that much attention to you." They are, after all, the Joneses, so they don't really care about you and that old car you drive.
Be grateful for what you do have. When Finally Frugal is feeling sorry for herself, she thinks about a former co-worker who became partially paralyzed, struggled with the change and now lives a very fulfilling life.
She writes: "Maybe I don't shop at Nordstrom or Saks. But I can choose from probably 25 different outfits each morning, and that's about 24 more than most people in the world. I don't make a lot of money, but I have a secure job with health benefits. For these things, I am grateful."
