Why would anyone buy a Hummer?
Posted
Apr 28 2008, 08:11 PM
by
Karen Datko
Rating:
In case you didn't know, the Hummer was invented in the 1980s to fight Nazi zombies, we learned from Nick at Punny Money. "This vehicle, known as the 'Humvee' or 'Human-crushing Vehicle,' was so successful at repelling the zombie invasion that Hummer decided to modify it and sell it for general civilian use," he writes.
Somehow we missed this invasion. But, thus the poster vehicle for gas-guzzling, environment-wrecking behemoths was born.
Well, of course Nick is joking. But lots in his post (to read his post and see his clever cartoon, click here) isn't very funny. People bought nearly 56,000 Hummers last year, he says. The H2 gets a lousy 13 miles per gallon, and the H3, lighter by a ton, gets only 15 mpg.
Nick asks the obvious: "Why would you sentence your wallet to a slow, painful death by driving?"
His answer: "So this leads us to only one possible conclusion: 55,000 eco-terrorists bought Hummers last year and will use them to collapse the ozone layer and kill us all ... assuming we don't kill each other over high gas prices first."
