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Why would anyone buy a Hummer?

Posted Apr 28 2008, 08:11 PM by Karen Datko
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In case you didn't know, the Hummer was invented in the 1980s to fight Nazi zombies, we learned from Nick at Punny Money. "This vehicle, known as the 'Humvee' or 'Human-crushing Vehicle,' was so successful at repelling the zombie invasion that Hummer decided to modify it and sell it for general civilian use," he writes.

Somehow we missed this invasion. But, thus the poster vehicle for gas-guzzling, environment-wrecking behemoths was born.

Well, of course Nick is joking. But lots in his post (to read his post and see his clever cartoon, click here) isn't very funny. People bought nearly 56,000 Hummers last year, he says. The H2 gets a lousy 13 miles per gallon, and the H3, lighter by a ton, gets only 15 mpg.

Nick asks the obvious: "Why would you sentence your wallet to a slow, painful death by driving?"

His answer: "So this leads us to only one possible conclusion: 55,000 eco-terrorists bought Hummers last year and will use them to collapse the ozone layer and kill us all ... assuming we don't kill each other over high gas prices first."

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Comments

 

Why would anyone spend $500,000 on a Porsche or Ferrari that gets worse gas mileage than a Hummer? Answer: Because they can...get over it:)

Rudy (Posted 04.29.08 10:41 AM ) Report Abuse

ya its too bad that people are dumb enough to buy these gas guzzling beasts while Shell and BP are averaging 8 billions dollars in profit every three months. but the global warming thing is also a bunch of B.S. Do you really think that this isn''t some hoax to get the economy running just like Y2K? Ya study up on the annual activities of the ozone before posting the same crap they want you to post.

urbanacheiver15 (Posted 04.29.08 3:25 PM ) Report Abuse

Check the facts next time before simply posting gossip from another person's blog.  Yes, Hummer sold 56,000 H2 and H3s last year.  Globally, how many Land Cruisers, FJ Cruisers and Hilux did Toyota sell?  Same fuel economy.  Same question for Volkswagons, Land Rovers and Jeeps?  They all sell several times more of these vehicles per year than Hummer, and their trucks get the same fuel economy.  

Nick (Posted 04.30.08 10:37 AM ) Report Abuse

I personally do not own a hummer, but why are people complaining so much  about them.  Sure they get bad fuel economy, but so does any car, when compared to a bicycle.  So, when you are driving around in your "fuel efficient" car complaining about hummers, someone riding a bicycle may be complaining about you and your car.

Ben (Posted 04.30.08 3:24 PM ) Report Abuse

Why  we are  paying  4$ a gallon for  gas,  If  barrel oil price is  over 100$ , how  BP, SHELL   making so big profit?

king (Posted 05.01.08 9:51 AM ) Report Abuse

I think the greater, often missed question is this: why would someone spend that much money on a vehicle to begin with. Hummers,aside, they all ride the same; carry the same; open the same; and start the same. We're in an illogically insecure world, where one's worth is measured by which status symbol is being hyped on the television screen or forced fed subliminally to use in magazines and pop culture. Its a greater think to spend money on something functional, than believe the course of hype( and ecologically distress) and purchase for the wont of having something new(i.e, I'm talking to you car leasees out there too).

Terence (Posted 05.01.08 10:23 AM ) Report Abuse

I drive a Hummer and put about 10,000 mi/yr on it, but have only flown 4 times in my life.

The other day, my neighbor was bragging about her "small" ecological footprint (and her Toyota Prius), and all I could think about was how often she flies. She's on a plane (7-8 hour trans-continental flights) every other week.

Sometimes, these giant (300+ seat) airplanes are less than half full.

Tell me how her logic makes ANY sense??

Joe Shmo (Posted 05.21.08 3:36 PM ) Report Abuse

How many people can you pull out of the mud or snow in your car?

Just rember my Funs Starts Where The Road Ends!

PS: H3's get 15/18 mpg, I got 21 on our last trip in a 06 H3!

H3 (Posted 06.30.08 12:45 PM ) Report Abuse

I bought my H2 new in 05 and have 78,000 miles on it. Great ride still, even original tires good for another year at least. Love it, wouldn't sell it for anything. If the cost of gas was a  ever a concern I would not of bought it.

michael (Posted 07.30.08 3:31 PM ) Report Abuse

The impending collapse of HUMMER has nothing to do with the car itself.I've had roughly 52 cars in my 52 years so far,2 of which have been Hummers.!st one was an '04 H2.It was the coolest,best built car I had ever owned.I was however,unaware of the social stigma this car presented at the time i bought it.I was basically forced to sell it after 2 yrs because of all the ignorant,narrow minded so called liberals harrasing my wife and i everytime we drove it to the grocery store.Why don't they harrass all of the people driving the smoke belching old chevy ,ford and dodge pick-ups on the road getting 3 and 4 mpg less ?.I now own an H3.Another extremely comfortable car that is probably the 2nd coolest looking on the road.For those of you too ignorant to know ,it's got a puny 5 cylinder engine that gets 14/19 mpg........better that the Toyota tundra,toyota Tacoma and several Nissan,infinity and lexus models to boot.

Oh...and by the way,I also have an 08 Honda civic that gets 34 mpg. ! So,to those of you that like to bunch us Hummer owners all in one group,as uncaring.thoughtless,rich demonic enviro-terrorists......think again and grow-up.*happy H3

happy H3 (Posted 08.01.08 1:03 PM ) Report Abuse

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