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My mom, the frugal role model

Posted Mar 14 2008, 11:40 AM by Donna Freedman
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Yesterday would have been the 73rd birthday of the person who probably should be writing this column: my mother, Geneva Burgess Hanes.

She was the youngest of 10 kids born to an uneducated Tennessee couple who eventually pulled up stakes and moved north for opportunity -- that is, for the chance to work in South Jersey factories and vegetable fields.

Despite hunger, poverty and violence, my mother became the first in her family to finish high school. She owned two dresses ("one on, one off") and never had a square meal or a bath in a real tub until she married my dad right after graduation.

They had four kids in five years, which sounds impossibly grim by today's standards. But we didn't seem to notice that we were poor. Everyone we knew pinched pennies. Nobody did it like my mom, though.

Ground beef and homemade book covers
Mom could coax a meal for six from a pound of ground chuck. She canned and froze vegetables, many of which we grew in the yard, and made jam from strawberries we picked at a nearby farm. Bread came a dozen loaves at a time from the bakery outlet and two quarts of whole milk turned into a gallon thanks to the alchemy of milk powder and water. To her, "convenience food" meant getting one of the kids to peel the potatoes.

Our wardrobes relied heavily on hand-me-downs from cousins plus bargains picked up at dime and discount stores. We got school shoes and Sunday-school shoes in the fall and a pair of sneakers in the spring. Woe betide the person who didn't take care of clothes or footwear. It had to last. We made it last.

Somehow she found the money for things that mattered, such as a set of encyclopedias bought on installment and braces and glasses for three of us, also paid on installment. A doctor's office was right next door, which was lucky since someone was always getting croupy or bee-stung -- and Mom found a way around that, too, having us mow the doctor's lawn for part of the bill.

Teaching by example
Watching her, we learned to be resourceful, responsible and kind. Required to cover our schoolbooks, we cut down grocery bags and folded them to fit. Once knee socks got too old to stay up, we put rubber bands around them. When I lost the screw from my glasses I repaired them with a bent straight pin, a fix that lasted until my next vision exam.

As soon as possible, we started earning money; I was picking and selling berries and flowers by age 9, and babysitting at 11. But when it snowed and we shoveled a path to an elderly neighbor's mailbox, we wouldn't have dreamed of accepting the quarter she always tried to give us.

Mom died in August 2003. Some weeks before her death, she fretted that she had so little to leave us because her illness had been costly. I miss her for many, many reasons. Chief among them is that I wish I could thank her for how much she did leave us: a legacy of working hard and making do but never ceasing to hope that things would get better one day.

If she could have read this blog, she would have found herself right at home. If not for her influence, I wouldn't be writing it.

Comments

 

WOW... I just read my childhood. My mother (no dad) raised 7 of us doing the exact same things. And I wouldn't want any of it changed. The life experience/education is something that can't be bought. I'm not afraid of our economy today. I'm not afraid of being poor. I know I can survive. To all Frugal Mom's out there, I thank you...

From what you have written it sounds like your Mom and mine could have been twin sisters. I still carry the value and appreciation for the money lessons that my Mom has taught me. I'm now approaching 60 years old and still know how to get 15 cents worth of value out of every dime spent. I honestly think that one of the things that "our" Mom's helped us to understand (is that a lesson too?) is the ability to define the difference between "need" and "want". My morning coffee tastes just as good from an old fashioned Mirro stove top coffee pot as it would from a $250 machine that grinds the beans and turns itself on with a timer.  My Mom wasn't from TN she was from an Ohio dirt farm. Thanks for the walk down memory lane and the reminders. Oh, and we did the powdered milk / whole milk thing too! :-)

What a story! i am still crying as i write this.. Yes be proud of your mother Donna.. and let it be a valuable sesson for all of us who are always complaining of never having enough.

Your Mother and mine"use it up,wear it out,make it do, or do without" was thier motto

can we pass it on?

one of six and the stories the same its a hard but good life the garden the livestock thru 4h club because of zoneing laws.Mom always managed to make it all work out .a great lisener who tried to make it fair across the board.Really miss her passed away march 16 2005 . she taught us well we,re all doing fine with moms common sense. thanks mom love karl

Our Mom was also frugal.  Mother used to make meatloaf that was wonderful!  I didn't know that meatloaf was NOT 75% cubed bread until the first time I ate meatloaf at a local diner when I was an adult.  It really didn't taste as good as Mom's.  Thank you Mom, we miss you every day.

Thanks

Donna,

I only realized after my mother passed in 2004 how right she was about so many things.   Her advice was always on target but I just resisted!  I wish I could tell her in person how right she was and give her a big hug!

What a beautiful tribute!

Your mother sounds like a most amazing woman, and I would have been honored to know her.

Thanks for sharing a little bit about her with this stranger.

This was beautiful.  How sad that today we feel that by "giving" our children more "things", we are doing better by them.  Unlike our Moms and Grandmoms, we haven't "given" the the ability to overcome adversity.

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