Why it's difficult to talk to family about money
Posted
Feb 29 2008, 10:07 PM
by
Karen Datko
Rating:
Randall's parents didn't talk much about money when he was growing up, and forbade him from discussing the family's situation with anyone outside the household. Now that he's an adult, he's trying not to be the same way.
"I'm not ashamed of what I do or make, I do pretty well all in all, so why should it be such a taboo to talk about it?" he asks in a thought-provoking post at Credit Withdrawal. The sad truth, he says, is that our preoccupation with acquiring more wealth than others -- "Keeping up with the Joneses has become a cultural Olympic event," he writes -- permeates family relationships, including those between kids and their parents.
Familiarity can make matters worse, not better. "You remember the time that such-and-such had to go on welfare, or so-and-so came to you for a loan to make a house payment," he says. "Too many people let incidents like that color their memories of someone who should be special to them."
What's the solution? Be more open about money in general, and offer your expertise if you have it. Most importantly, try not to judge. Randall writes, "Just because someone makes less money, or spends it differently (or out-and-out squanders their money) doesn't make them someone to revile."
