When spending far less than you earn is a problem
Posted
Feb 22 2008, 09:24 AM
by
Karen Datko
This post comes from Trent Hamm at partner blog The Simple Dollar.
I often talk about the value of frugality and spending less than you earn. For many of us, that's a valuable mantra to repeat, because our tendency is to spend more than we should. Our challenge is to avoid spending, and we have to carefully talk ourselves out of it.
Yet there are those with the opposite problem: They almost can't make themselves spend money. My best friend is like this, and, interestingly, he's getting worse as time goes on, seemingly getting tighter with his money.
A reader, Stella, writes in with the same problem:
"I've read a lot about not spending more than you earn. But I have the opposite problem. I cannot make myself spend money. I can talk myself out of any purchase. I have no problem grocery shopping, but when it comes to clothes or major purchases I just can't seem to drop the dollars. The frustrating part is that the money is available for the purchase. It drives my husband crazy. Case in point, our 18-year-old refrigerator door is broken. It does not close on its own and must be pushed closed. My husband and I went looking for a replacement and found a good deal at an appliance outlet. I liked the new refrigerator, it would fit in my kitchen, it matched all the other appliances, it was plenty big for our family and would be much more energy-efficient than the existing fridge. My husband was ready to buy it right then, but I said I needed to think about it. Why can't I just say 'OK, let's buy it'? Why do I have to talk myself into buying everything? I would love to know if others face this love/hate relationship with spending."
First of all, it's important to recognize that this is a real problem. Some people will scoff at this and think, "I wish I had that kind of willpower," and I'll admit that I do respect such willpower. However, it can go too far when one's aversion to spending begins to interfere with everyday life, particularly when you easily have the financial means.
One aspect of this condition is that it is usually connected to a reasonably large bankroll. When you have an aversion to spending, that money is going to go into the bank.
So how do you get past this problem? Here's my advice:
Recognize that you may be overdoing it. For people in this situation, the 10-second rule is ingrained. They naturally try to think of reasons not to buy the item, to the point that they talk themselves out of reasonable or even essential purchases. Instead, turn the 10- second rule around. Realize that you are overdoing it and think about reasons why you should buy the item.
Let yourself trust the people worth trusting in your life. Do you trust your spouse? Do you trust your best friend? These people know you. They know you don't like to spend money without reason. If they're encouraging you to spend, it's likely there's a very good reason for it. Listen to them, trust them, and take that leap.
Set aside some money that you're willing to spend. Instead of socking every dime away into a giant retirement or investment account, create an account that's there solely to make purchases. Put some money in it automatically and think of that money as already spent. Then, when you need to make a purchase like Stella's refrigerator, you can take this "already spent" money and replace the fridge.
Most importantly, don't feel guilt about the choices you make. Stella is obviously feeling some guilt. What I've found over and over again is that if you make choices that lead to minimal guilt, you're usually doing the right thing for you. When I spend too much, I feel guilty, but when I don't spend enough, I feel guilty, too. The right amount is somewhere in between, and that's the sweet spot we should all strive for, regardless of what side of the hill we're on.
Other articles of interest at The Simple Dollar:
"The eternal question: Am I doing the right thing?"
"What can a dollar a day get you? And an inspirational idea"
"How much frugality is too much frugality?"
