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How much are memories worth?

Posted Feb 21 2008, 09:34 AM by Karen Datko
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This post comes from Philip Brewer at partner blog Wise Bread.

I get a particular negative jolt when I review a credit card bill and find a charge for  something that's already over and done -- a meal already eaten, a vacation already taken, a tank of gas already burned up. I'm much happier paying a charge when I can pat the thing purchased and know that it'll be serving some useful purpose for years to come.

Just recently, though, I've found that I'm beginning to have a little more appreciation for those purchases that are only phil of wise breadmemories before they're even paid for.

Try this thought experiment: Imagine that all your property was destroyed in some disaster, but that you got a large check -- replacement value for everything that was lost. How much of your property do you replace with exact duplicates?

A lot of the most important stuff is irreplaceable: artwork, antiques, mementos of things you've done. You'd replace them with exact duplicates if you could -- and might pay top dollar to do so -- but mostly they're just gone.

A lot of the rest of it is stuff that you wouldn't bother replacing: that pair of old glasses that you could wear if you broke your current pair, those shoes that match the dress that doesn't fit anymore, that pot that you used to cook everything in before you married someone with really good pots.

Most of the rest are just things you have to replace simply because you need something to serve the purpose: a bed, some chairs, a table. No need to duplicate what you had -- maybe you'd be better served by a bigger desk and a smaller car (or vice versa).

For me, this thought experiment puts a different perspective on my preference for spending money on things that last.

Sure, I'm very pleased with the bicycle I bought in 1983 and that is still my main transportation vehicle when the weather is nice. Its cost per mile at this point is so low it's not worth calculating, and it's still in near-perfect condition. I fully expect it to go another 25 years. But it's an exception.

Stuff that will last is great, but I've tended to put too high of a premium on that category.

Best value for the money

Some of our best expenditures turn out to have been our vacations. We've been to science-fiction conventions in Toronto, Boston and Glasgow. We've been to Esperanto conventions in Berlin and New York. We spent a warm February week lazing about in Key West and a cool July week hiking around the coast of Wales. We took a cruise to Mexico.

And it's not just vacations that fall into this category: going to college, going to concerts and plays, watching movies or videos, hanging out with friends at the coffee shop or bar. These are all experiences that may cost some money, but that may well be worth far more than, for example, a really nice leather jacket that would last for years.

For us, expenses of this sort have ended up providing some of the best value for the money we've ever gotten. Further, in the little thought experiment above -- what would you replace if you lost everything -- they wouldn't need to be replaced. They can't be lost.

There are many reasons to be frugal -- it's light on your wallet and light on the planet -- but the most important is that it maximizes your freedom.

One way it does that is by giving you more career options: The more frugal you are, the less pressed you are to choose the most remunerative career, and the less pressed you are to stick with a poor choice simply because change would be risky. The frugal person can bear risks that others can't.

I was always in tune with that particular advantage of a frugal lifestyle. It's the one that motivates me most strongly.

What I've come to realize just recently, though, is that another advantage of a frugal lifestyle is that frugal people are free to spend the money they haven't sunk into stuff on experiences instead.

There are plenty of things you can do cheaply or for free. But don't let the fact that an experience doesn't leave you with a useful object make you feel bad about paying for it.

Material purchases are about what you have. Experiential purchases are about who you are. After all, when people ask you about yourself, you don't tell them about your stuff; you tell them about what you've done.

On a personal note, I wanted to mention that this post marks my six-month anniversary of writing for Wise Bread. More by coincidence than plan, this is also my 100th post. I can't begin to tell you how much fun I've had writing these pieces. It's high on my list of experiences worth remembering. The photo is of me on the bank of the River Clyde in Glasgow, Scotland, during the World Science Fiction Convention in 2005.

Other articles of interest at Wise Bread:

"Don't rely on credit for your emergency fund"

"A better way to create a budget"

"Are private schools worth the money they demand?"

Comments

 

Philip,  Thank you for this wonderfully shared insight.  I must say that for me personally, it is very timely because I am at the point in my life where I am making mental assessments of things that I have done, and yes, the value of things that I have acquired as well.

I have travelled and kept memories of the interesting places I have visited.  My mementos are picture albums to keep forever I hope.  I have made purchases some good and some perhaps not so good.  Because I dabble in interior design, I have a house that reflects this and as I look around me, I am pleased with what I have acquired but I know I have also made costly errors that are behind me now.  I intend to keep whatever I have saved having moved into a smaller house with the thought of renovating.  I have done high end renovations before but this time I am really making an attempt at a frugal lifestyle so my renovations will be more practical rather than lavish.  I know that in the world of real estate the gurus say that kitchens and bathrooms add the most value for the money in doing home improvements.  Have you any thoughts?  

What a complete waste of time. Anyone with any wisdom at all knows that the memories are what matters and having a bunch of worthless stuff merely ties you down and complicates your life. Give me a job posting blogs, I'm sure I can come up with something quite more insightful than this article.

I would agree with Jonathon that having stuff does tie a person down and complicate your life, but somehow I do not see how wisdom has anything to do with whether or not a person gives their memories more weight than their stuff. Our culture is fuming with materialistic attitudes; I need a bigger TV, house, car (insert your last meaningless purchase). On average, Americans continue to spend well above their means and debt continues to crampt everyone's style. This article describes one man's journey to finally live what "wisdom" tells him. We may know that memories are what matters, but we sure don't act like it. Sometimes it takes a small tidbit of someone elses experience to enlighten another.

Honestly, this is the first article I've seen in a while that hints at this idea, as much of the "frugality literature" obsesses over how much one can save, but completely ignores potential opprotunity costs that are not always directly measurable. My boyfriend, every month, shells out $20 to play an online game. Stupid? Perhaps when one considers the power of 40 years of compounding interest, but not so much when that's how he and his brother remain involved in each other's lives. As for me, I recently recieved a windfall...and it's buying an imported rice cooker. To me, it's an investment in taste (I love great sticky rice, and it's one of the things I miss most about Japan), health, and convenience (I can come home to dinner, thanks to the timer feature that is really hard to find in US rice cookers).

Granted, it would be especially unwise had I not already evaluated my priorities, which is the true heart of frugality. Because of my lifestyle, I don't need a car (HUGE savings!). I take a lot of time searching and writing essays for scholorships and earned workstudy so I don't have to take on so much debt to go to school, took on another part-time job, built up an emergency fund, started a Roth IRA (40 years of interest without tax when I use it? Rock on!). At first, all of my savings went to building emergency savings, but now I divide it between retirement contribution and personal goals (a whole summer in Japan after I graduate). In the meantime, however, I'm alive NOW...

...and 9 months is far too long to go without a single bowl of decent Japanese rice.

I agree with Phillip.  You can be frugal, see beautiful places and be comfortable.  It does provide a greater sense of freedom.  There's not much guilt when the trip is paid for within 30 days and you have great pictures and great memories.  

I also agree, The endless pressure to spend is incredible! I became frugal out of neccesity and now it is a lifestyle choice. Yes, I have the means to buy a new car, but the old one is so "cheap to keep" I can stay home today and enjoy the snowfall, instead of going to work because I chose to fill the car dealers pockets. It's all about balance and the scale is tipped in my favor.

I totally agree with the article....at age 16 I had Bone Cancer and approximately 1 year left to live...at that moment I just wanted to live...not to buy a chic car, or just to be like the Jones next door...now am 44, I have two beautiful kids, I have a nice comfortable house  in Puerto Rico (15 minutes away from a pristine beach) am very happy with my job, a beautiful friend which is also my wife for 15 years. I have a 401K, a saving account for emergency, and a travel/vacation savings account (try to save instead of using a credit card) which we use every year to go someplace....Mexico, Argentina, Chile, Venezuela, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Internal Travel in Puerto Rico, Disney World, New York, Hawaii, France and pending Italy (2008).

Is it worth it? You can bet every penny.....it’s all about balance....but life is still about enjoying life to it’s full potential, its not about work, or how much stuff you have...it’s about enjoying yourself.... In Mexico, I met a 62 year old woman (a retired Wall Street Broker called Linda)from New York, she could not walk up the “Piramide del Sol”...she wished she would have taken time for herself when she was younger....her wisdom counseling to our tour group was....”Don’t put having fun on HOLD to when you are “Old” Have fun every day of your life..............”GROW OLD WITH NO REGRETS”,she said.......................SURELY A PROMISE TO KEEP!!

Not a bad post.

I wish only more women in this country would understand this instead of going to the mall every day or other day to buy junk like more clothes, shoes, SUVs or drop at least $50 to bleach their hair blonde.

really good perspective....i've been kinda living this philosophy since i was a youngster, majoring in budweiser at a nice southern university, knowing when i graduated that i would be going to vietnam, which i did, made it back and love every day with no incoming, and make sure i pay all credit card totals each month, so i can continue to bulid a portfolio of memories as well as investments....tom

Being completely debt free with only the monthly expenses to be concerned about is a wonderful thing. But I'm a planner for retirement, and that along with a job that is not fulfilling has not been enough. During some physical problems, I started to look forward to a vacation experience my wife and I have never had or taken advantage of. I've been involved in the community and church and now need to take a look at an extra demension of joy. Someone mentioned earlier - balance - and I think God wants that for us. Work  - yes, Helping - yes, walking and relationship with Him - yes, and also a time to relax and enjoy the life He gave us!    

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