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The bridesmaid's curse: Ugly gowns and lots of spending

Posted Feb 09 2008, 04:06 PM by Karen Datko
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DogAteMyFinances is trying to pay off her credit card debt and, in fact, has stopped buying clothes as part of her frugality. But now she has to cough up $275 for a hideous "rich chocolate" bridesmaid gown. "Second, I will have to pay for the bachelorette party/bridal shower/kitchen-gadgets shower/home-repair shower/chick-flick shower," she writes, adding, "Weddings are out of control."

The last time she was a bridesmaid, it cost her $1,250. Other personal-finance bloggers have experienced the same budget drain. Ms. M&P at My Money and Politics last month paid $240 for a bridesmaid dress (plus made a $265 deposit on a hotel room for another wedding she's attending, and spent $468 for plane tickets to go to yet another wedding). Mrs. Micah says that if she were asked to be in a wedding, she'd have to pass because of the cost. "This is crazy, folks. We need a solution," she writes.

DogAteMyFinances says she can't decline because brides "flip out" if you do, so she'll try to keep a lid on the party spending. Mrs. Micah offers other solutions. She says she had only one bridesmaid at her own wedding and made the dress herself. She also suggests allowing bridesmaids to wear sundresses -- or simply not having bridesmaids at all.

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Comments

 

it would be cheaper if you sent a gift and I am sorry can't attend.

becky (Posted 02.09.08 8:12 PM ) Report Abuse

we tried to be sympathetic to the woes of the bridesmaids and when we got married my bridesmaids wore simple palazzo pants in black and royal blue button up blouses - they looked wonderful and the pants (not so much the blouses) became staples of their wardrobes!

jennifer (Posted 02.10.08 11:12 AM ) Report Abuse

oh yeah...

becky (Posted 02.11.08 1:22 PM ) Report Abuse

I don't get the part where bridesmaids have to buy their own dresses!  I would have never dreamed of making my friends buy their own dresses, it's my wedding after all and I get to choose the dresses.  But after watching my best friend go through that several times, I realized it was standard practice.  Well, when I got married, I paid for the dresses AND they were something the girls can wear again.  I think more brides should consider buying the dresses just part of the cost of the wedding...

Tracy (Posted 02.12.08 6:31 PM ) Report Abuse

My friends have bought their own dresses for my wedding, but I encouraged them to choose something themselves. We were limited a bit because the groom, of all people, was set on royal blue. But the deal was that if we couldn't find anything in retail stores (we ended up finding a dress on sale for $60 at JC Penney) and had to go to a bridal shop, my fiance and I would pay the difference.

We did buy the maid of honor's dress. She lives out of state and is a plus size, so couldn't get the same dress anyway. So we decided she should just have a slightly different dress and told her to go to some bridal shops and call us once she'd found the dress she wanted. She ended up finding something lovely at David's Bridal, and it's the least we can do, given that she is paying her own way here from Florida. She found a cheap ticket but that's *still* $250 that she didn't necessarily have to spend. I even double-checked a couple times to be sure she could afford the ticket on her own, telling her we could help out if needed.

Really, it's astounding how much brides assume. I think, of course, we only hear about the worst cases. But still, that's an awful lot of women becoming overly concerned with what *they* want. I think brides forget that these women are doing them a favor, not vice versa.

Abby Freedman (Posted 02.13.08 9:37 AM ) Report Abuse

My sis had this problem when her bff got married. She had to buy several gifts as well as pay for the bridal shower, her dress, bachelorette party, and her daughter's dress! I was in the wedding, but not a bridesmaid. I had to decline to attend the bachelorette party because it cost too much. I think it is ridiculous for a bride to make her party put in on things like a bachelorette party!! When I get married, I plan to have only 2-3 bridesmaids and pay for their dresses, my shower (food, etc) and my bachelorette party. That way, all they have to do is show up and help me celebrate. If I can't afford to pay for my own wedding, then I'm doing way too much.

Alisha (Posted 07.03.08 10:25 AM ) Report Abuse

Oh yes... Its rediculous....a gir weds once in her life...it  is her soul wish to look very beautiful on this occassion.....Thanks for sending this post...

www.flowergirldressforless.com

FLower Girl (Posted 07.11.08 11:15 PM ) Report Abuse

a gir weds once in her life

Not anymore, Flower Girl...ever heard of a starter marriage?  (Oy.)

Sarcastra (Posted 08.05.08 10:05 PM ) Report Abuse

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