Nothing says 'I love you' like a clean litter box
Posted
Feb 04 2008, 12:19 PM
by
Donna Freedman
Suppose your sweetheart found a creative or heart-stoppingly romantic way of showing his love on Feb. 14 -- but didn't spend a ton of money to do it. Would you be delighted or offended?
Our consumerist culture touts expensive Valentine's Day gifts as the way to "prove" one's devotion. It's easy to get the impression that if he doesn't take you to the right restaurant, buy the right gift and pick out the right card, he just doesn't care.
The pressure is on for men to be sufficiently romantic, because no matter what he does, or fails to do, you know she's going to be telling her girlfriends all about it.
I hate to generalize, but the onus really is on the men. From what I've seen and heard, most guys don't care nearly as much about Valentine's Day as women do. Plenty of men would probably be happy if the holiday went away altogether.
One estimate is that men will spend anywhere from $180 to $420 on Feb. 14. How much of that is going on plastic? And how many of those credit cards still hold December debt?
Romantic, creative -- and frugal
We don't have to buy into this, so to speak. Type the phrase "frugal Valentine" into any search engine and you'll find lots of ideas.
I made the girl-noise when I read this one at Families.com: Arrange to meet your sweetheart downtown, and lurk nearby with flowers. Ask some passers-by to deliver one bloom each to your beloved, saying "Happy Valentine's Day, Karen!" -- or whatever her name is -- before you show up with the last flower of the bouquet.
A reader at the Dollar Stretcher site wrote that her husband gave her a dozen roses -- just not all at once. She found them over a couple of days on her pillow, her cookbook (how romantic), her car, etc. "It was nice having the little surprises and wondering where the next one would turn up."
Really strapped for funds? You can still give flowers, according to Sara Noel at Frugal Village. "Try a single bulb to force such as an amaryllis or tulip, a collection of seed packets for spring planting, or one single flower with the recipient's favorite hot beverage in the morning." Noel has a nice list of other frugal spins on traditional favorites at her site.
Guys who feel that they can't write a good love letter could co-opt this idea from Mommy Savers: Make a dozen or more paper hearts and on each one write something you love about her. Leave them in places where she'll find them over the next few days.
Wait until her girlfriends hear about that.
Opting out of commercialization
Search your souls, ladies. Suppose your guy cooked dinner and served it by candlelight, and then slow-danced with you to your favorite romantic music even though he can't stand Elvis Costello's "North" CD. Would you feel loved, or would you secretly be thinking, "What, no jewelry?"
Or say that your darlin' isn't much of a cook, but came over with a handwritten letter saying just how much you mean to him, and then offered to take an annoying chore off your hands once a month for the rest of the year: vacuuming your car, cleaning out the fridge, changing the litter box.
Tell me that wouldn't get your attention.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not anti-gift. What I am is anti-guilt. It bothers me when we let commercial interests dictate our lives, especially our love lives.
If you've got a bunch of money and you want to treat your honey, go for it. But don't do it because you think you have to do it. Do it like you mean it. Because you should mean it. Otherwise, what's the point?
And if your significant other has a cat? Definitely consider that offer of monthly litter box cleanings. Anybody can run into the drugstore at 6 p.m. Feb. 14 for a card and a tin of Almond Roca. It takes a real sweetheart to offer to deal with kitty roca.
