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Always budget for a carousel ride

Posted Dec 28 2007, 08:37 AM by Donna Freedman
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Last week I rode the Holiday Carousel in downtown Seattle. For several minutes I was about 7 years old and reliving my favorite part of the Cumberland County Fair, except that we called it the "merry-go-round."

For a $2 donation, I got to be a kid again. I shook off the residual stress of my most recent university quarter. I was in a great mood for the rest of the day.

I even got a New Year's resolution out of it: that in 2008 I will create a budget category called "fun."

Mandatory splurges
I tend to deny myself many things that I feel I can't afford. They don't even have to be big things: You just spent $4 on a sandwich when you could have gone home and eaten. Never mind that this sandwich was consumed after seven hours of library work – I still should have saved the money.

And too often, my wishes and wants are riders attached to the legislation of other people's needs. (I suspect this is true of many middle-aged women.) For example, I'll sometimes take my daughter and her fiance to a movie. I don't treat myself to a movie – someone else has to be involved to justify the expense.

In an article on frugal burnout, Liz Pulliam Weston asked readers how they meet financial goals while still having a decent quality of life. One suggestion was to build a small splurge fund into the budget "to waste as (you) please." In fact, one reader makes it mandatory to spend that money each month.

"Even the tightest budget needs a little give," Weston notes, "or the whole thing is likely to go out the window."

A post from partner blog The Simple Dollar talked about the "spontaneous enjoyment" that can accompany a splurge. Normally, author Trent Hamm wouldn't have purchased a $3 candy bar. But doing so created not just a fun moment, but a lasting memory with the people he loves.

"The value was in the uniqueness of the moment," Hamm writes.

Desperate little economies
Thanks to a part-time writing job, my budget isn't as tight as it was when I wrote "Surviving and Thriving on $12,000 a Year." But I have trouble remembering that. I still fear being broke. I still seize on desperate little economies.

This week, for example, I'm going to see my grandmother and father. We're all getting older, and I'd rather go for a visit than a funeral. Such things are important, and I'm making the trip for under $500.

Yet while I'm there I'll hesitate to drop $5 or $6 for one of the region's famous cheesesteaks, because I could save a few bucks by getting a burger from McDonalds' dollar menu.

I can get a dollar menu item right here in Seattle. But I can't get a decent cheesesteak anywhere outside the Delaware Valley area. What good is a salary, even a part-time one, if I can't spend some of it?

Balance is what I'm seeking. If anyone out there has some advice on how to achieve balance, and to make it stick, I hope you'll post a comment.

I think the carousel was a good start. Incidentally, I was not the oldest kid on it -- not by a long shot. There were a couple other middle-aged and elderly women riding, without their grandchildren. And they were smiling as widely as I was.

Comments

 

Donna, Freda and the Gang: I don't post to sites. I usually read only. But Freda knocked me upside my head! I will be 47 next month, feeling like I'm 67. My son (22) has put me through junk, so has my husband, sister and mother. Not to mention I moved with my husband so he could be near his younger children, losing $15000 a year to do so. It has made things difficult. I am back on track toward what I am worth employment wise. My husband wants me to quit my second job, but I won't. I have decided that I want a few splurges and to squirrel away a bit for me. I've helped him and my son. Now, I need to focus on MY needs and wants. I buy Starbucks a couple of times a week now. I hit Kohls sales and clearances without buying for others. When my husband acts miffed, I tell him I've earned it --- I have. Donna, Freda and others....Freda is right. Enjoy it NOW. Keep your budget but enjoy life too. Because ultimately -- only You can make You truly happy. Think of yourselves once in a while. Good Luck, Ms Freda! I'll keep you in my thoughts.

I hear you about frugal burnout. Those long range goals don't offer the instant rewards of a night out at the movies or a yummy candy bar! I'm trying to pay off my car loan ASAP - and then save for the next one (I want to pay cash for the next one - in 5 years.) The money I'm saving in interest doesn't feel like money b/c I don't really see it.

Part of my thought process when I "slip" on my budget is that I convince myself that I deserve something. Part of that comes from looking around me at all the stuff other people have - and forgetting that they are not me. If I take a second and breathe before a purchase - maybe even call a friend to talk it over - I'm much less likely to get off track. So, I think this conversation highlights the benefits of automatic deposits to savings accounts where we can't get our hands on the $. If it's not in my checking account, then I can't spend it.

I also think that it's important to focus on the general intent of your frugality. I mean, smelling the roses (buying a cheesesteak) doesn't take you off the path. Life is progress not perfection - if you're making positive traction toward your goals, it's a good thing. If you find that you're really sabotaging yourself with little purchases, that's something else altogether.

Great article Donna.  It sounds like you should have the cheesesteak.  Is there something else you can not have to get the extra $5?  

My new years resolution is to try the 60% rule.  If I can achieve that, I won't need to track my expenses anymore.  I have been tracking my expenses for year with excel and downloading my bank info with a csv file.  It hasn't helped me save money.  I did a budget.  I might be able to do 63% or 65% rule.  Live off of 60% of my gross pay and save the rest in three accounts, retirement, long term savings and short term emergency items.  THe other 10% is for fun:)  Fun is mandatory.

Donna, I always love your articles.  I took your advice. Today while at Monkey Joes watching the kids bounce on blow up slides, I "treated" myself to 2 three minute massages in the massage chairs.  The cost was $1 for 3 minutes.  Normally I have to have an excuse to "splurge" like that but I remembered your article and loved every minute of it!

I'm surprised. I thought those cheesesteaks were more widely available. Anyway, it is worth getting a cheesesteak as a one-time experience. $5 or $6 isn't that much compared to even one night in a motel room.

Note to rstlne: "Cheesesteaks" are indeed available lots of places...but they are not "real" or "decent" ones, as Donna terms them! She was right to get one from the Philly area. They do taste different.

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