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The 'aha' moment and frugality

Posted Oct 19 2007, 12:41 PM by Donna Freedman
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Losing a debit card. Cleaning out the garage. Buying a condo, or not being able to buy a condo. Living out of a suitcase. Wanting to stay home with the kids but fearing you can't afford it.

All these were defining moments that turned spendthrifts into thrift-thrifts. A reader posting as "bigdreams" solicited such tales in a Smart Spending message board thread called "Switching from being a spender to a saver -- what was your 'aha' moment?" 

Some "moments: were epiphanies, others slowly dawning realizations. Readers variously described their experiences as a slap in the face, a kick in the butt, a good hard look at oneself, a God-given wakeup call, the sudden glimpse of a bleak future.

However they arrive, aha moments carry the same basic message: Something has to change.

The original poster, bigdreams, is newly frugal. Shopping used to be recreational and even addictive in that it produced "quite a high" when a "great deal" could be found.

Then came bigdreams'own aha moment: "(Where) was the money that I had saved? I didn't take the savings and bank it. I just spent it somewhere else."

Minimum-wage lunches, $270 spa visits
Other readers could relate to bigdreams' financial awakening:

-- "Sunset Hiker"was startled by a credit-card statement that sorted purchases by type. The length of the "retail" category "made me realize that I was buying more often than I'd thought."

-- For "dunkleboom," cleaning out the garage was life-changing. "I had far too many belongings and some items that were never used. I realized I was wasting time and money with clutter."

-- "Scoop358:" had a minimum-wage aha, watching a co-worker buy lunch out. "That's when it occurred to me to connect the money I spend to the wages I make. ... Lunch is not equal to one hour of miserable work at this place."

-- "Lynn D" lived with her boyfriend temporarily, bringing only a few basic pieces of clothing. Co-workers never noticed the wardrobe reruns. "I stopped buying new clothes for six straight months."

-- "ibrake4garagesales" spent $345 on a three-day cruise -- and another $270 in the ship's spa center. "I felt dumb when I compared the (fare) against a 60 minute massage and nice-smelling products."

-- A lost debit card brought "Kamikaze1" up short. After the second day, "I realized I had saved about $30 by not using (it)."Kamikaze1 decided to leave the replacement card at home.

Parental lessons, Christmas (credit) cards
Some parents teach by reverse example. "Jestjack:" recalls his parents paying off endless auto loans. Now their situation is much worse: deep consumer debt. "As for me, no credit card debt and no car payments since 1988."

And at age 9, "Whatever1"realized his parents wouldn't fight about debt if they'd "quit buying so much (junk) that they don't really need." Whatever1 has never had a credit card or a car payment, and in less than seven years has nearly paid for a house. "Meanwhile, my parents are still fighting the same fight and living the same way."

Reader "roseofclair" found her epiphany last Christmas as credit card juggling led to sleepless nights. This gave her a built-in New Year's resolution: paying down the cards. This year's holiday will be "cash, and a lot less stressful."

Who says there are no Christmas miracles?

What did it for you? What was your aha moment?

Was it when you had your first child? Made your first student-loan payment? Found yourself dodging creditors? Added up the month's NSF fees? The first time you lied about the family finances?

Or maybe you've had the moment and not acknowledged it. If so, now's your chance: Feel free to post your epiphanies, either as a comment at the end of this blog or on the original thread.

Confession is not only good for the soul, it might be just the face-slap/butt-kick/bleak-future glimpse or whatever it is you need to take back the reins.

Spending is not a bad thing. But mindless spending, the casual and unconscious hemorrhaging of your future? There aren't enough adjectives to describe just how bad this is.

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Comments

 

My 'aha' moment was when I added all the debt I had. Credit cards, car, student loans. You know those poor homeless people on the street asking you for money? I was poorer than them and no amount of change is going to help me get into the positive net worth.

I am poorer than the homeless guy on the street. It finally hit me. I had no money for clothes, no money for dinners out. I HAD NO MONEY! Everything I will make in the next 10 years, would go to pay down my debt, if I continue down this road. It was a good realization, because now, I am almost done paying off my credit cards. Car loan is next.

g (Posted 10.25.07 10:50 AM)

I have a rule I use when I want to buy something. I ask myself how many hours I have to work to pay for it and then I decide if it is worth it. It is usually not. I also order off the kids menu at restaurants. Plenty of food for much cheaper prices.

Tammy (Posted 10.25.07 1:32 PM)

One of my (many) epiphanies was when my brother in law was complaining of not having enough money at Christmas. He smoked 2 packs/day and a drank a 6 pack after work every day.

Romeo (Posted 10.25.07 1:33 PM)

One of my (big) aha moments was when my wife gave me a calendar with 3 months

of the latest ATM withdrawls, the dates and amounts with totals per month in red to the tune of $440 average per month taken out. I was very surprised.

Romeo (Posted 10.25.07 1:42 PM)

We never had one of those moments. While the kids were in a private school, my wife did not work again until they were both in junior high and, even then, only half time. We DID live "paycheck to paycheck" for about 14 years, but we always made sure we paid the credit cards off every month and no bills went unpaid. We simply pared everything back to accomplish what we felt God wanted us to do.  

Now my wife works full time again doing what she loves: helping struggling students at a private Christian school and enjoying every minute of it. We also have a net worth of over $750,000 and feel very blessed.

Bob Leeka (Posted 10.25.07 2:13 PM)

My drinking bottled water (or soda)  has progressed from drinking 3 twenty oz bottles at $1 each=$3/day ($1095/yr) to buying a gallon of bottled water @ $1.00/day ($365/yr) to filtering our water with an excellent solid carbon block water treatment system which comes to  $ .27/ day ($100/yr). That was another eye opening expirence.

Romeo (Posted 10.25.07 2:59 PM)

My aha moment occured when I lost my job and realized that unemployment didn't even cover the car payments, much less the mortgage.  With no savings in the bank it took less than 40 days to fall behind on the bills.  

Even though I got a job offer in just a month and a half since loosing the other one, it will take me three months to make up for the one month lapse.  With a baby daughter to care for that is never happening again!  The credit cards go bye-bye, the cars get paid off and the mortgages get paid down as priorities over "fun."

Methusselah (Posted 10.25.07 3:10 PM)

I drive over 20,000 miles per year now. My older import got 25 mpg, our newer used import gets average 35 mpg, the gallons saved is  at least 230 gallons per year which comes to almost $700 /yr saved.  

Romeo (Posted 10.25.07 3:11 PM)

My 'aha' moment was when I lost my job and found out that unemployment didn't even cover my mortgage payment; much less the car payments and other bills.  With no savings in the bank it took less than 45 days to fall behind.  With a baby daughter to care for this will never happen again!

Although I got a job offer only a month and a half after loosing my former job, it still will take 60 to 90 days to get everything back on track and the late payments have pretty much wrecked my credit for the next 3 years.  The credit cards must go.  The car payments must be paid down and not incurred again.  And the equity line must be paid off.  "fun" will have to wait.

Methusselah (Posted 10.25.07 3:22 PM)

An 'aha' moment, unfortunately quite common these days, would be after getting laid off.  thats when you have the time (and the urgency) to totally evaluate your financial situation.    I was working 20 hours days and never realized  the true cash flow or expenditures or investment performance.   A lot of things got rebalanced.  Sold all the company stock and the resulting investment income now covers the major items (mortgage, insurance, property tax) Even though I got another job quickly (and a normal 9-6, no stress), I now watch finances every weekend.

Name withheld (Posted 10.25.07 5:00 PM)

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