When is it OK to spend on ourselves?
Posted
Oct 15 2007, 12:22 PM
by
Donna Freedman
Rating:
A recent thread on the Smart Spending message board, “Feeling Guilty,” dealt with reader ManyaP’s recent purchase of a $450 vacuum cleaner. Her guilt stems from making such a big purchase when she’s trying to save for a home.
Fellow readers assured her that quality vacuums improve indoor air quality and last longer than cheap ones. In fact, ManyaP’s son has “horrible allergies,” and she’s tired of buying appliances “that have either burned out or just weren't meant for heavy-duty everyday use.”
Still, she felt guilty.
I’m right there with her, having recently splurged on two luxuries. Well, they felt like luxuries to me. Friends called them sensible.
Head-to-toe comfort
The first buy was a couple of pillows stuffed with duck and goose down, about $80 total. I'm used to buying the cheapest pillows I could find and replacing them when they grew flatter than tortillas, i.e. once a year. Since buying the down pillows I’ve been sleeping straight through the night, whereas I used to wake repeatedly. The morning neck pain and stiffness have vanished, too.
The second was a pair of hand-stitched black loafers, the first leather shoes of my life. They cost $101 but I had a sale coupon so I paid $86. Usually I spend $10 to $30 for dress shoes – and usually I have foot pain and backaches when I wear them for very long. Last Friday I wore the shoes from 7:30 a.m. to 7 p.m., and my feet felt just dandy.
Let’s see: The pillows improve my rest, and the shoes are as comfortable as bedroom slippers. I’ll likely use both for many years instead of replacing them frequently. The past few years have been tough, but now I have a part-time salary. Why shouldn’t I get them?
Because.
Because cheaper products are available. Because I’m afraid of being broke again. Because people like me don’t buy down pillows or nice leather shoes.
In other words, because I don't deserve them.
Investing in ourselves
I posted these thoughts on the “Feeling Guilty” thread, and ManyaP wrote that she’s had the same feelings. She copes by remembering that she’s frugal in every other way, and that “you do indeed get what you pay for with some products.”
As a kid I wore third-generation hand-me-downs, and any new clothes tended to come from stores with names like “Mr. Big’s” and “Diskay.” We didn’t have tons of toys or fancy furniture or annual vacations. I figured that’s just the way it went. People like us didn’t get expensive things.
I became a mother at age 20 and every dime I made went to support the baby. Like many moms, I didn’t think I needed anything nice. So it was thrift shops and clearance racks, and clothes worn until they fell apart – even after I married and got a job that paid decently. A running joke between my daughter and me is along the lines of, “How many moms does it take to change a light bulb? That’s OK, I’m fine sitting here in the dark.”
For years I told people you should never skimp on shoes or coats. Yet for years I’ve bought shoddy footwear and outerwear. As an advocate of mindful spending, it’s time for me to walk my talk.
From now on I am going to buy smarter. I’ll never give up thrift shops. But for certain items I will invest more up-front if it means fewer replacements and better results -- feet that don’t hurt, for example.
I also intend to invest in a radical way of thinking: I am worth it.
And so are you. The next time you find yourself waffling over a purchase that you can afford and that will improve health, promote peace of mind or simply make you really happy, go ahead and buy it. Believe me, sitting there in the dark isn’t really that much fun.
Lying there in the dark, on a real down pillow – now that I can recommend.
